Well I suppose this is you getting YOUR way now because I give up. I’m emotionally drained from this situation. When I left that place one year ago, I thought to myself, I’m doing this the right way so we can have a real chance. Now it is clear that you never had any intentions on being with me. I’m devastated. There is no reason I should be crying over someone who would treat me with such disregard. Your silence says everything and nothing at the same time. I know you’re reading everything I send. I wonder if you are affected at all by what I say. I feel lonely and lost. I feel broken. How do you feel?
So I hear you’ve reconnected with an old friend of ours. I do wonder how that came about and if you feel guilty when in his presence. I cant imagine not having either of you in my life. Maybe that was the problem. Maybe you wanted me to cut him out. Maybe you thought I couldn’t possibly be true to you with him still in my life.
There I go again, rationalizing all of your bad behavior. Don’t worry, I recognize my behavior has not been wonderful but at least I am able to express my feelings without holding back. Isn’t that what you wanted from me? Honesty? How honest have you been? With me, with yourself? How could you put me through this again? Are you testing me to see how far you can push me before I finally leave? Or are you just afraid because you know this is it. You can hide from me but you cant hide from the feelings you have. I wish you more consistent in expressing them.