• I just want you to leave

    by  • November 16, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, The Ex • 2 Comments

    You decided 5 years ago that I wasnt the one to be in your life when you made the decision to cheat on me. I walked out of your life and while it was one of the hardest things I ever did, I did it for me. And I started making decisions for me. And while some of those decisions may not be the best, at least I wasnt choosing you over myself.

    But now, 5 years later-you are back in my life and I cant just walk out. In order for me to walk out someone’s life I have to be able to justify it. And you are making it impossible to do so. You have changed so much in 5 years and you have become a better person but I still don’t want you in my life.

    I spend my days doing everything I can for you because I do care about you, too much sometimes. But what do I get out of that? You aren’t really MY friend. I am YOUR friend. I take care of you. I make sure you are on track. I keep you in line and I risk my own life’s goals in order to protect yours.

    Why do I do this? Why cant I just stop? Why cant I just walk away like I did before? I’m not sure I can really answer those questions other than I care about you and I just cant walk away as I worry about you.

    But I dont want to. I want you to be out of my life. I don’t want to deal with the feelings I have for you, I don’t want to have to keep taking care of you, and I want to make my decisions around my life-not yours.

    So please just leave. Leave me be. Get out of my life. Hurt me all over again if you have to-that will make it easier then for me to leave. Because I dont want to deal with you anymore. I just want to go back to my life the way it was before you came back into it.

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    2 Responses to I just want you to leave

    1. Here
      November 17, 2014 at 11:04 am

      Pretend I’m your person for a sec. And what is your initial reaction when you read the following words?…: “Your feelings matter. You have gone above and beyond for me even though at times I did not deserve it. You helped me and I know that. It’s totally okay for you to walk away now for the moment or forever if that’s what you need. I am absolutely fine with whatever you decide and the door is always open for you. I love you unconditionally and I want you to be happy.”

      Does that make you feel relief? Sadness? Regret? Do you just need to give yourself permission to “let go”? You owe no one nothing. You owe yourself everything.




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    2. MK
      November 18, 2014 at 6:46 am

      You can be the one that leaves. It takes courage and it will be shitty but it WILL work out. YOU did it before, YOU can do it again. Cut your losses, strive for your life’s goals. Seriously, don’t sacrifice your happiness.




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