• Sorry, not going to happen

    by  • November 14, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 15 Comments

    If you had wanted that then you shouldn’t have treated me as an afterthought and taken it for granted. This was repetitive and changed the course of our relationship for good. While I understand some of the choices you made, the way in which you handled it was selfish and careless at best. I feel this is yet another self-serving attempt to get your needs met while I get nothing but depleted. Cherish the people who have treated you well and if you haven’t, then let them go to be peaceful and happy. I’m sorry if you have regrets. I don’t. I treated you with love. You treated me like garbage. There’s no going back.

    15 Responses to Sorry, not going to happen

    1. M73
      November 14, 2014 at 10:43 am

      Why not ?

    2. @M73
      November 14, 2014 at 1:30 pm

      Are you joking? They made it pretty obvious why not.

    3. What's not going to happen?
      November 14, 2014 at 1:35 pm

      This came out of nowhere.. What’s not going to happen?

    4. I hope you're not referring to me..
      November 14, 2014 at 1:52 pm

      First, I don’t know what you are referring to. Second, I’m not clear how I was treated. My person didn’t talk to me for months. When I tried to make contact I was told that they didn’t want to speak with me. Aside from rants on here I’m not sure.. Oh, never mind. I will just take this as another time when the person who is on the other end doesn’t recognize what “love” is.

    5. It is a shame
      November 14, 2014 at 3:35 pm

      U know we were good together. U know how we are together. If u ever change your mind please find me.

    6. I'm sorry
      November 14, 2014 at 4:23 pm

      If this isn’t for me but I have to respond since it so closely matches my issue. I’m not looking to place blame. I recognize that I could have handle some situations more delicately. I know you don’t have regrets and you shouldn’t nor should I. Do you think I ever felt loved? The answer is no. While you might think that because you loved me I should have known it? Really? Wow. I was accused of lying on more than one occasion. Whether you intended to hurt my feelings is irrelevant. My feelings were hurt. I’m not even sure you remember. You told me we were done and you didn’t want to talk to me. I respected your wishes without saying anything. Once more I was feeling like shit. Because you moved on and found someone else doesn’t give you a right to blame me for things you never said. I was suppose to know them. I won’t go on further. You don’t need to put me down anymore. I get your message. Be happy and you know I loved you because I told you and showed you. I tried reaching out to you and you wanted nothing to do with me. Thank you for closure.

    7. Gemini
      November 14, 2014 at 5:59 pm

      Your letter seems like a retort but – as others have pointed out – the lack of details is not benign to context. This explains M73’s response and your response.

      Put simply: It’s probably none of our business but we have no context to understand what won’t happen again; much less, how they made it obvious why this should occur.

      Also, I’m the one who commented under the pseudonym “From A Random J on the Internets” and that’s just what I am. If your response is to that, I can tell you that we definitively do not know each other.

    8. B
      November 14, 2014 at 6:19 pm

      Those thinking this is for you…how would you know? I am not the author btw. But I wouldn’t want ‘my’ person thinking I had written this or a lot of the things on here, for that matter, because things have been really good between us lately. I haven’t felt the need to vent for a while. Unless it is so specific to your own situation that there can be no question that it is for you, I think it would be a mistake to assume and potentially treat your person differently because of an anonymous letter. I don’t believe that my person would, they are much too grounded and much too intelligent to think that way, but it’s scary to think that some might.

    9. author
      November 14, 2014 at 6:59 pm

      Seriously I cannot believe so many people could think it possible I’m talking to someone here. It’s called Letters I’ll Never Send for fucks sake.

    10. Whoa
      November 15, 2014 at 5:14 am

      Testy testy. Someone has a short fuse.

    11. curious
      November 16, 2014 at 2:07 am

      How do you know they want to go back?

    12. author
      November 16, 2014 at 10:37 am

      @curious: Face to face communication.

    13. Wondersalot
      November 16, 2014 at 1:40 pm

      I am curious as to whether your person has heard this from you or they are left wondering if this is how you feel. I mean this is lettersillneversend so one could assume you may not have been very direct in telling them or have not told them at all. If you havent told them, one could also assume you have not yet gotten over them as you may like you them or us readers, whomever, to believe. What if their most recent attempt was genuine. What if whatever they have done to upset you could be further explained if given the chance and patience needed to fully understand. What if the mistakes made were human and your person did what they could given the options they had. What if they love you more than they could put into words and wanted nothing more than to spend the rest if their life with you. Forgive me if you are writing to someone who harshly abused you, and I apologive if this is offensive to you Author or is totally misinterpreted. These are just the thoughts I had reading your letter as I can relate to the anger you seem to feel.

    14. author
      November 17, 2014 at 8:54 am

      @wondersalot: I don’t mince words and I was very direct in my feelings and they know that. They are very avoidant and their conflict resolution skills were not utilized no matter how much I tried to resolve things on good terms. They are the type of person who only deals with things when it’s blowing up in their face at that moment. Anything else is put away to be dealt with “later” and if it goes to shit it’s just one less thing to deal with or prioritize.

      I have years of experience with this person and they only care when it suits them, not when it could prevent problems or when it mattered to me. They know I loved them and have stated that they knew this and trusted this so much they abused it. Many times I was willing to talk and fix things. They would say one thing and do another. I would detach for my well-being (and communicated this clearly) and months later is when they wanted to “clear the air”. Over and over. And their version of clearing the air was a few words on their part, me feeling fucked with and confused, them getting validated, and me not knowing what the truth is. None of that is healthy or love or friendship or anything to be trusted now or ever.

      They told me and showed me they do not care and regardless what the “truth” is now, I believe they don’t care. I simply do not trust anything they say. I cannot speak to them anymore because I cannot handle one more lie, one more miscommunication, or one more anything. They would be the first person to admit I had their back consistently and did everything possible to “fix” it and I can no longer do that.

      This person is so bad for me I at one point wanted to kill myself due to the mental anguish. It’s only around this person I have ever been this way. So you see, once that happens to someone, there is no going back or forward with them. Now I just purge my feelings because regardless if they “care” or want me in their life I cannot do it.

      They had me “there” for a very, very long time. That’s over. I truly know they don’t care via experience.

      I see your intentions are good trying to make me see what they might feel or whatever. But people here tend to skew things to their own situation.

    15. @Author
      December 10, 2014 at 9:05 am

      WOW so many responses. You say you were direct & forthright? What if they were avoidant & didn’t wish to deal with it there & then because they felt & believed they were treading on eggshells around you for you reacted indifferently, or became a rambling mess, or said words that hurt them immensely? Men don’t always show it but words hurt more than physical trauma for men. I’ve learnt that when a man doesn’t be honest & truthful to himself & the same goes for her, the man starts to lose our own masculinity which is his own fault(I will never do that again-another thing I learnt to always stand up for yourself regardless of the outcome) & she will she the change in him & start to respect him less & in turn start to push him away & he’ll start to pull her back which then can overwhelm her for he is becoming too much for her, she takes flight more and more and he fights more and more…you have to work for love & unlike what everyone thinks its not always easy if you want to have a forever lasting relationship.

      Eventually men can & many do “blow” up for they are hurting too. Anger BTW is a defensive mechanism & has to be triggered by someone..eg- you perhaps? Not that it’s a good trait to have yet many men have it. I used to, it took alot of self awareness to change that. No one abuses love if its genuine. The majority of men mean what they saw when love is concerned. Everyone has different thoughts on what love is & we all are moulded by upbringing,past relationships & present?

      I too personally went through what he did? She ended it too by phone of all things. So I left as why fight for someone that said it’s over. Yet she wrote & suggested otherwise. He like me could have been so confused & hurt by this roller coaster that she was & I feel was your relationship similar? You are wrong there for he wouldn’t have felt validated! He was still in love with you & wanting to see your response? It was in my case.

      Sad that I felt my life worthless for how I let her treat me & I’m sorry he made you feel like that for it is never nice to be in such a dark place which no one deserves to go to. Ironically we allowed it to happen to ourselves & have only ourselves to blame not them? I am not completely skewing things as you say, I am saying this from a man’s point of view who had this happen to him thus why I relate.

      I am not discrediting you, only saying these things from out side the box & a man’s view point.For the record I have she was my third soulmate, my other lasted double digits, the other I’m on good terms with & are like brother & sister, great friends still to this day. I had never come across a woman like this before who I let cause so much emotional anguish to me & destroy who I was. I never believed ppl like that existed. It has taken me along time to heal, become stronger from it by what I learnt, many therapy appointments & many other things. My once loving heart that was on my shoulder is now withdrawn because I’ve realised we have to protect it for like many here & including you it destroys a bit of our soul.? It has changed me & I find it hard to open up to potential partners where I am usually now the one to end it without a fight & they are surprised how calmly & collectively I explain to them how I feel without getting upset(on the outside anyhow;). It takes much for me to reveal my heart now much to my demise which I’m working on. They have all been surprised & for some reason the majority keep in contact with me as friends of course as I’ve always been an old school romantic & a one woman man. Thank you if you’ve read this far & I apologise dear author if I’ve hijacked your post in any way shape or form yet I had to convey my thoughts here from a males perspective.

      P.S. I actually wrote a letter here recently for my own closure which I never received & have learnt we sometimes never do. It was – Twin Flames Extinguished. Thank you for it is now my time to depart this site for it makes me emotional reading ppl’s tales of lost love. I wish everyone the love that is us & everyone for there is nothing greater in this world than to love & be loved.

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