• I forgot

    by  • November 12, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 3 Comments

    how easily your ego is bruised. I say things out of anger, get over it. Given that you surely know the pain you have caused, I cant imagine you cant rationalize this behavior of mine. Its not like the things said are untrue, I mean the truth is often rather difficult to hear. You say you want honesty well there you have it. I am sorry if the things i’ve said hit a nerve. Maybe your nerves need to be rattled. What else will be effective? You so damn stubborn and too smart for any other tactics I could possibly think up. I don’t want you to think I am going to stop. I won’t. You’ve already proven to me in your actions from the past, that’s it isn’t what you truly want me to do. So go ahead, keep on that. Keep pushing me through these waves of emotion with the lack of consideration that you do. I promise I’ll never resent you for any of it.

    Or will I?

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    3 Responses to I forgot

    1. Me
      November 13, 2014 at 2:18 pm

      I’m sure you do. I don’t have much of a response to that because you’re right.

      I will say that I found your letter to be a little ironic. Like if I had written it to you. I also say things out of anger to you. I also try and ‘rattle your nerves’ sometimes. Sometimes it’s the only way I feel I can get a reaction from you recognizable enough to validate your existence. And you’re just too smart and stubborn for anything else to work.

      I think you don’t really understand how much you’ve influenced me. You molded me in many ways. All of my ‘tricks’ or ‘games’ or whatever you want to call them, I learned from you. It’s not conscious on my part, it’s very natural for me now. I picked up so much from you because I’ve just never had as profound a relationship as I had with you.

      All that being said. I did appreciate all this. I do want honesty. Always. I do want to know how my behavior affects you. Call it feedback. Regardless of what you may think I do want to be better for you and to you. To do that I have to know how you really feel, even if it’s negative.




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    2. Maybe this will help you
      November 13, 2014 at 3:04 pm

      I am sorry. The things I said were out of hurt. If I did not care, or hate the way it went down I would have never said anything. The truth is if I could rewind the clock, I would have still made the choice I did but I would have handled it differently. I would have told you how much I truly loved you. I would have told you how badly the decision hurt me. You can never really imagine why I did what I did but from my soul I need you to know that it was all for you. I could not in good conscience allow you to settle for the things that I could not physically give you. I wanted it for you. I wish that I could have given it to you. I am and forever will be sorry to have lost you but happy for the life that you have. Knowing now what you know, the life that you have, if you ever find yourself wondering, please just ask me. I know that I hurt you. One of the last conversations that we had I told you that I needed you in my life even if it is just a friend and I still mean it. I will always love you and miss you.




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    3. timewilltell
      November 13, 2014 at 3:19 pm

      Time will tell.




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