You are everything to me. I want to spend time with you every day, to talk with you, to laugh with you, to do stupid little mundane chores with you because you turn them into something awesome. You are one of the most giving people I know, and I wish I could give you half as much as you give me. I know I don’t tell you enough, but you are amazing, and kind, and funny. You make me laugh, and I love it.
I know that I said it would never work between us, but I’m finding that I want nothing more than to spend every day with you. I love seeing you in the morning. I love talking to you, and going to class together, and eating together. I love seeing you at night and knowing that you’ll still be there tomorrow. Maybe it’s selfish of me, but I want you all to myself. I’m rarely self-conscious when I’m with you, and I worry less because I know that you will be there for me no matter what.
No, everything isn’t perfect. I still get embarrassed easily, and I have trouble understanding why you are friends with me when you seem to be doing most of the giving. When you tease me it hurts sometimes, and I know that my sarcasm hurts you as well. I’m often afraid to talk to you, afraid to ask if you have time to hang out with me because I don’t want to bother or annoy you.
I’m afraid for the future. How much more time will we have together? Where are we going? I thought I knew, but everything is changing so fast. Are you waiting for me to make a move? Or have you decided that I’m not worth the trouble? I’m too afraid to ask. I’m afraid of your answer.
But if nothing more happens between us, if we stay like this for the rest of the year and then go our separate ways, I will be a thousand times better for having known you. For having had you, even if it was as brief as it was. I will have regrets, but I would regret it more if I ruined our friendship now.
I don’t think you’ll ever see this. I don’t know if I’ll ever tell you. But I hope you know just how much you mean to me.
Your Best Friend