As I sit here writing these letters I sometimes wonder if u ever come here.. and a part of me hopes you do, it’s unlikely but I still find myself writing here either way as it is letters ill never send (to you)
First off I hope ur having a nice time away, the whole time u have been away on “vacation” it has made me notice some things … One is that I am so so dependent on you and it’s not good, second is I’ve put myself into a major depression since your parting not being able to talk to u as much has really made me miss you and feel so low.
I really love you, love you so much more than any friend you have or will ever have, I am so afraid of losing you as a friend I do things that are not normal and classed as being jealous which I am that is not good at all… I really fucking missed you and although u have txt me loads it just isn’t the same but ho hey its just a week right? Not so bad? Ha yeah…
I have become distant lost in my thoughts crying at nothing oh I’m just acting fucking stupid but that’s part of my (bpd) too I hate myself sometimes for acting like a frigging freak.. Anyhow i don’t quite know why I’m writing this letter it’s not something u don’t already know…
Either way I just want you to know I really love you and I miss you so much. Even though u are not mine to miss it doesn’t make it any less painful..
I know u don’t love me the way I love u or anywhere near I know u love me in a different way and I’m cool with that 😉
“Sparkle jump rope queen”