That relationships are a pain in THE FUCKING ASS!!! There is no Disney movie to tell you what to do when your heart is broken into a million pieces. No princess to show me what I should have done when he broke my bones. No bitch singing to bring the birds in to help kick some ass. I mean really WTF!!! So here is my truth. I committed to one man for a really fucking long time. In that time (unbeknownst to my clueless ass until now) he slept with the most grimiest bitches to ever exist (and I am not just talkin shit either). So nasty hoes on top of broke my bones and made me feel uncomfortable in my own skin. So after a decade of eating his shit politely with a knife and fork I said “Fuck it”. Sweet, gorgeous young thang came my way laying the shit on thick. I don’t think I know exactly what it was due to my intentions. At first it was just hot and I mean FUCKING HOT. I absolutely had no expectations other than your hot, your amazing in bed, you think the sun and moon sets in my ass and all of the excitement that came with it. Okay so this is what I was not at all prepared for. For some reason, the more I blew him off, the more I missed dates, the more he begged for me. So I am emotionally retarded at this point and I just needed to feel alive, wanted and desired. I let it go and have regretted it for 8 fucking years. So this is my question, why did I run from someone that gave me everything that I had ever needed? How could I go from the hurt to the hurt-er? I don’t understand. Only now looking back I can see the error of my ways. Why could I have not known then? To this day, if I meet a man that would be what I imagine Prince Charming to be I freeze. I want to push him away and I don’t know why!!! Will I forever be emotionally shut off? There are so many emotions that I no longer feel that it makes me wonder if I am broken.