• How I feel

    by  • July 30, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Confession • 0 Comments

    Dear Andrew, 7/29/2014

    I miss you, a lot. You said we where to hang today, but we didn’t. Made me kinda sad, but still only to get on facebook an see you sharing stuff. Yes, that is a bit weird of me, but ohwell.

    When I talk about you my best friend ask why him. Yes, I remember that you hurt me, bad. Cheating, only to call me not even 5 minutes later to tell me an break up with me. The endless crying I did, in public and at home, I still don’t know why I did so much crying, you’re only a boy.

    Andrew, I like you, an you know it. On the last day of school, you being really sweet, walking me to class, wanting me to walk to yours, giving me your new number, everything. Like, LIKE, yesterday ! We hung out, bet you don’t know just being around you just makes me, just, flitter. Driving there, knowing I would be able to see you, hug you, My heart just, skipped a beat. You know I die to see you, though it rarely happens. Seeing you, just makes it worse, “Hey,” you say, not knowing my hearts going 90-to-nothing.

    Going in, sitting at the table, talking a bit, going outback to smoke, awkwardly trying to stare without being caught. Then to your room, Andrew that is why I got shy, everything smelt like you, I loved it. Sitting, watching TV, then the event I cannot, for the life of me, get out of my head.

    I lay on your bed again, but this time holding the pillow you claim as, “yours.” You, again laying on me, but unlike before, you lay eye to eye. The pillow
    covering our mouths from each other. My heart racing by this point. Staring at each other, muffled talking though the pillow, occasionally laughing a little. All I can manage to do is smile an stare, as you play with my glasses.

    I wish to kiss you at this moment Andrew.

    Looking into your beautiful, deep, sparkling brown eyes, I could melt. I couldn’t deal, ended up trying to cover your eyes because they where so gorgeous, so tempting. We start to laugh an giggle, an you move, sitting up, giving me the nickname, “Pillow.”

    Only to have to leave a little while later. You walking me out to my car, standing, laughing hugging. I had a wonderful time, though it was short an we couldn’t do it again today. It was fun. I know you are no good for me, but I just can’t give you up.

    – ? Your ex/friend.

    P.S I’ve always loved your smell. When you left that sweater of yours at my house, I would just smell it, anytime I passed by it. That’s a reason why I kept it. … That an you where too much of a puss to come an get it your self.

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