I thought I moved on from you when I left for the summer. I thought you’d just be a faded memory by now. But you’re not. I just remembered your face, the way you’d smile at me, the way you’d sleep on my chest and the way we’d just lay there doing nothing but being together. And it hurt. Not a lot, but enough. That pang of nostalgia when you remember something fondly from your past that you know won’t be coming back. I gave it my all with you, 100% and more. I wanted to stand against fate, but you didn’t. I don’t blame you though, I never harbored ill will to you. How could I, knowing everything you’ve endured? All those abusive boys, all that pain. I hope you know that. I hope you know I’ve never resented you one bit for your choice. I hope you’ve forgotten me though. Because I know you cared for me deeply, and I want you to be happy whatever you are up to nowadays. I guess I just want to say I miss you, but I know that it’s better if I don’t. In the end, I was one text away from ending up at your door, but I decided that some texts are better left as drafts. I wish we could have had more happy memories together, Alyssa. I hope that life treats you well. Tonight my heart reaches out to you again, and I pray that you don’t feel the same.
Here’s to what we were,