• Brandon

    by  • July 23, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Breaking Up • 1 Comment

    Where do I begin. I want to make this work. I want this to be fixed. We were not supposed to end like this. Not this soon, not this way, not over something so trivial. I want you to get yourself figured out, as you said you wanted to. But I want to be there for that. I really do. You’re “unsure” of your love for me, when in all seriousness, you act like you love me without even saying it. What’s so scary about verbalizing it? Why is this the reason you “need space”? I’m so confused. We were doing so well. You weren’t even getting distant like others have in the past when they pull this cop-out reason for a breakup. I don’t even think it is a cop-out for you. I think you actually believe you’re “unsure” of what love even means. I want to be able to form coherent thoughts when we finally talk again next week, but I get worked up and nervous every time I think about this conversation, and how it might possibly be our last. I really thought you were the one. I don’t know who’s to blame, or if it’s just some cosmic screw up that we ended the way we did. I love you, and I want the best for you. You’re my best friend. That’s what I miss the most. I wanted to call you and tell you I finally went on my first jog after my knee surgery, or I finished out my online statistics class with an A, because I know those are things about my life you would want to know, and things I want to share with you. Sure, I miss all the cute, cuddly, couply things that we once shared, but I miss your friendship the most. That’s what meant the whole world to me. I want to hear about how work was today, or how excited you are for the upcoming school year, or how much of a wonderful time you had catching up with your high school friends. I can’t believe that this is where we are now. I took for granted all those silly puns you made, all of those “Did YOU know….?” random facts you were full of, the moments when you would explain some complicated science theory and sound so smart, and so excited to prove a point. I miss that. I miss your laugh, your smile, the way I’d catch you looking over at me when you thought I wouldn’t notice. How could you possibly convince yourself this “might not be love”? Look at us! What we had was so big, and something much bigger than either of us ever have felt before. I know I “did nothing wrong,” but I want to fix this to make it work again. What we have is special, and nothing you could possibly say could convince me to throw it away. If you need time to think, so be it. I’ll be here waiting until you figure it out. I’m here for you, and to make you happy. And that is exactly what I’ll do. I’m tired of the chest pains from the heartache, I’m tired of feeling absolutely breathless when I think about you, tired of that sucker punch to the heart whenever I hear your name, or stumble across a memory of you. I love you, and I will do my absolute best to prove it to you if you’ll give us a chance again.

    One Response to Brandon

    1. I wish
      July 23, 2014 at 7:39 pm

      This was from that special someone in my life.. sigh..

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