Sometimes we’re laughing together, other times arguing. You hold me, confide in me, and you’ve apologized, and we confessed our true feelings. We’ve planned fun things together, and maybe we can work it out…
Or maybe i’m just crazy because these interactions that I have with you aren’t real. Most of the time it’s automatic, subconscious, and you creep up in my mind and we have these conversations…you keep me company when I’m alone.
I think about the paths we’ve been down. When I pass a dinner, I wonder if that’s the one we where picked up your little brother from at 2 am that morning. When I drive down a road, I wonder if it’s near the same road that we drove down together, that day that you were impressed by how I handled the telemarketers who kept calling me on our way to my house.
This doesn’t feel normal. It feels scary and I don’t know how to keep these thoughts/episodes from occurring. It’s like i’m pathetic or obsessed, yet I’m not any type of stalker. I’m not schizophrenic, I know that, but I do feel crazy, in a way, and so I haven’t told anyone about it.
Maybe I’ll need therapy