I haven’t heard your voice in years now. And crazily when I got the news today bad news; you were the first person I thought to turn to then I stopped myself. I stopped because I didn’t want you to feel like that’s the only time she contacts me. So I stopped. And embraced the reality. That you are not here and you never have been and you never will be. If I keep embracing this reality soon I will forget you. Forget you not in a tone of hatred but forget you so the pain of not being with you will go away; and my heart can stop crying over you and my soul will stop searching for you.
It has been seven years and I miss you like we departed just yesterday. I don’t know who you could’ve been to me to be so attached to you. We are so different am not your type and you’re not my type ; there is no physical attraction. But I liked your smile. Very geeky. I wonder how you look now?
Hmmmm…… for my hearts sake it is good that I don’t know and that distance stands steadily. Even more that I am away to start life over again. From the bottom once again. If I had a choice I’d never work- work again in my life. I’d visit different parts of the us while we can cross freely. Take pictures.
Not the 9 to 5 stress and people sigh . the cycle that people walk and then die. Always got your head down walking pushing up high hills . I wish we had gotten to know either better. I’d invite you over for cake was it cake ? no pies and cookies. You were a that kind. I think you mentioned wanting to eat cake my mother had cook once and I teased you about.
I am learning all her recipes as much as possible because; she has work in a nursing home so long she is now losing feeling in one of her hands nowadays.