• words I can’t verbalize

    by  • July 17, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 3 Comments

    Here we go again, but this time we are married. We have said our vows, but now it feels like they may have been just words. Going through the motions, but are you happy? Is it I who is the only happy one? You stay up late to be with your videogame brotherhood. You say because that’s the only time I let you. Because I take so much of your limited time. I’m your wife. You’re my husband. What gets me is I actually don’t cling. I let you be your independent self and only ask to spend time with you here and there. You are the one who blames me when you don’t want to get on. Maybe you have used the excuse so long that you are feeling it is true. Then after a brutal 14 hour day x2, I ask for you to spend 10 minutes with me. You reluctantly abid. Treating my request like an order. A chore. I’m your wife. Am I chore? What is going to make us happy? What is going to make you happy? For me to do all of the house work, work over full time caring for the ill, and make dinner for you when I’m off while you spend quality time with your bros, while you spend time getting a community of brothers together while I stay on the sidelines waiting for my turn. Because is the time with them so much better than with me? Am I just an old lady to you? What is going on here. I just don’t know what to do. To follow you as you storm away or to sit here in quiet.

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    3 Responses to words I can’t verbalize

    1. j
      July 18, 2014 at 12:22 am

      I feel badly for you, but I think I have an idea how he sees things. A lot of guys, once they get married are afraid of losing their freedom, or maybe better stated, their life outside of their marriage. I’m not saying its fair, it’s just how a lot of guys are. However, that doesn’t mean that it is tolerable for him to do it all the time. Marriage, as I’m sure you are perfectly aware, is about sharing, compromise, and working together. You need to tell him how it is. He needs to help with the housework if you both are working full time. If he was working and you were not, or vice versa it would be a different story. You and him need time together, and it’s good to have some things the both of you can do outside of the home that can sometimes include friends (new ones that are married, couples). However you both need to have some kind of life outside of the marriage, where you can see your own friends and do things that each of you like.

      Marriage counseling might work, but that’s only if he’d be willing.

      I’m not suggesting that you live in filth, but make him prepare his own dinner, do his own laundry, and clean his own messes if he keeps it up. And you start spending most of your free time with your friends and pursuing your hobbies. Don’t take no Sh**!


    2. to marry or not to marry
      July 18, 2014 at 4:41 am

      Although I understand your frustration, I can also understand the need to play videogames we are in a generation where playing video games is normal for both men and women do you like video games yourself? If so why not offer to play together it will not only mean you spend time together but you are also seen as taking an interest in what your husband enjoys.

      Infact most guys love women who play videogames especially in underwear it’s a turn on. You said he said it’s the only time you let him play? If it is at night when u want to spend some “time together” why not let him play earlier on that way he has no excuse playing when u want to spend “time together”. It seems you are feeling second best hence
      (are your bros more important than me), this is an problem you have you are feeling left out which is an issue u need to address.
      Instead of just letting him play his videogames why not come into the room with some sexy underwear and stand in a sexy pose infront of the tv bend over pretend to reach for something make him want you take his attention away from the game and his brotherhood.. Or offer to play ask him to teach you. Marriage is a wonderful thing but it can also ruin a perfectly good relationship, it can become mundane boring tiresome and stressful, try spice things up abit.

      Although your letter mentions videogames and feeling left out I feel that this is only a fraction of what is wrong.


    3. doublebarreledfigure8 rose
      July 21, 2014 at 7:41 pm

      Video games destroy marriages.



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