I’ve started to lie to myself a little.
I tell myself that being dumped so many times was no big deal, I was only attracted to your looks anyway so it’s not like I was in love. If that was all there was to us then nothing would hurt right?
I admit i’ve really let any advantages i’ve had go to waste.
For my teen years I was convinced that I was going to kill myself before I turned twenty, after all my first attempt was when I was eight. Seemed like a safe bet right?
So after refusing to show up for school and flunking out of the college that accepted me in my final year i’ve had no job prospects and nothing to offer in terms of a stable future.
But that doesn’t matter.
After all I was only ever in it for the sex.
Dumping me and then moving on to an engineer means nothing because WE meant nothing.
It’s times like this that I probably shouldn’t drink at all, but I want to every day. It’s a good thing I have no money or I bloody well would.
I genuinely do wish you the best of luck though, no need for everybody to suffer just because I am.