• Heartbreaking affair

    by  • July 17, 2014 • Betrayal • 0 Comments

    I’ve come to Canada on my own to study in 1999. I was 21.I met a nice guy in College that stole my heart. I’m a Christian, he was a Christian, and above all he waited until our wedding night to be intimate with me, 1 and a half years. I was a virgin on my wedding night, never been touched by a man. My husband on the other hand has had a multitude of sex partners and had a wild past, therefore all my friends were against us getting married and expressed that and even abandoned our friendship. I had my doubts but being raised by obsessive, overprotective, indoctrinated parents that spanked me till I left home at 21, and didnt allow me to date anyone, not allowed to go out or do anything, this was a perfect escape for me. So I married him despite all the resistance. It turn out catastrophically. I had an awful marriage which out of fear, shame, commitment, guilt stayed into for 12 years, until I finally had a nervous breakdown. My ex husband had numerous addictions, would go out partying all the time, spend all the money, gamble, sleep overnight at friends”, treat me like a slave. It was a nightmare of a marriage, and I worked myself to death. We have 2 boys together. Great children. I gave my everything in this marriage, I prayed, fasted, asked for help, counselling, you name it. Then I had enough, I broke. After a 12 year marriage I left him everything and filed for divorce. The day I left the house his girlfriend moved in. It’s been over a year that we have been separated and he is on girl #3 which he got engaged to last weekend?!?! My parents in the meantime worked for a non profit organization in Romania and there was this very wealthy “Christian” couple that came to aid orphans in Romania. My parents befriended them and told them since they live in Edmonton to take care of their daughter, which of course they promised to. He is 63 years old and his wife is 60 now, older than my own parents. I met them 14 years ago and built a solid friendship. They travelled a lot but I only truly clicked with him, not her. Him and I were really good friends, could talk about anything and considered him like a father, never ever thought more of him, EVER!!! Then the separation occurred and we wrote each other more and saw each other more. He has helped a lot of his wife’s girlfriends go through divorce, the financial side of things and has several friends that are girls so I never thought anything of it. One day he asked me to have sex with him. I was shocked because I never knew a man outside of my husband and I was very vulnerable. I resisted at first then gave in. It was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. I expressed tremendous guilt and expressed to him why? His wife is so beautiful, he’s rich beyond measure, can have anything he wants, why? He replied he loved me for 14 years and waited for me to express his feelings for me, he’s a lifer to his wife and he loves her, but if she was to die or something, we could be together and I would never have to work again in my life. I replied and said to him that his wife would most likely outlive him because she never worked in her life, she exercises like crazy and that would never happen, I cannot do that, cannot think that way. He texted me on their 49 wedding anniversary and said how he would love to be with me not with her. I cut him off immediately, I asked my church to pray for me, I sought a psychologist. You can imagine the confusion I was feeling: a father role to a lover, to an affair. Bad company corrupts good character. He told me his wife is pretty but no intellect, has barely any schooling and is superficial all about looks and things. I felt trapped! I stopped all communication with him then he started stalking me. Then he chose to go to Italy (my life’s dream) for his 40 anniversary. That was the last straw, I changed my number, address, cut Facebook, everything! He stopped so far! We were not intimate a lot of times but I hurt, badly. Double whammy! I’m scared because I though I knew this people so well, maybe it’s me? I shouldn’t have given in. I’m going through this agony now and pray he leaves me alone. I relied so heavily on him during this divorce process because I have little support and he knows me inside out. I don’t trust my judgement anymore. I am painfully naive. He said his wife has a really wild past and she had sex to the fullest with lots of men before him, but he never got a chance to experiment and he wanted to. He said his wife probably cheated on him too cuz they have separate lives. I’m profoundly confused and even though I took all the necessary steps to cut him off, I hurt. I just want to heal and move on somehow. It’s hard to completely cut a 14 year friendship just abruptly like that. I’m sure his wife will figure it out. I didn’t know what else to do though! They’re so much older than me, I’m feeling so stained and ashamed!!!

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