• To no one in particular…

    by  • July 9, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Depression • 2 Comments

    I’ve never been the type of person to tell people about my problems. If anyone managed to find and read my diary, they would not believe that I am the author. On the surface I am happy: I laugh at myself, I make jokes, let your teasing pass through one ear and out the other. But some days I just don’t have the energy to fake it any more. And it hurts, oh god it hurts, when no one asks me if I’m ok. I know that I’d just say I’m fine and they’d believe me, but just hearing someone take notice is enough to help me push through. There are so many things I’d like to say, if only you’d ask the right questions. But that never happens, and eventually those emotions die back down until the next time something someone says stabs a knife through my heart, shattering my false confidence… I’m just so tired…

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    2 Responses to To no one in particular…

    1. Just answering
      July 10, 2014 at 12:45 am

      Because I know someone who I think feels this way. I have tried in the past to show I was willing to be a friend but I got pushed away. Maybe she wanted to show everyone she could go it alone. But at the end of the day I know no matter how strong you think you are, you can’t be everything to everyone and eventually you need someone that is there for you. Someone who will be there even if it’s just to listen.
      Sometimes it’s hard when someone’s been putting on a front for so long, to see through that facade and know when they truly need that question of : “are you ok?” to be asked.
      I hope author you do find that one person who see’s through your smiles and knows you need a friend, and when they do please don’t push them away. They may not ask again.




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    2. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
      July 11, 2014 at 12:42 am

      There are people who take notice. Maybe they know that asking if you are okay doesn’t make sense. Maybe they know what you would respond. Maybe they know you would push them away. Maybe they know that you won’t let them do anything. Just because they don’t ask doesn’t mean they don’t care. Take a nap when you are tired and then stand up and take the next step!!!




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