It’s been a lifetime since I saw you and wonder if you think about the road not traveled with me. I don’t understand it, were you stringing me along because you were uncertain about me? Were you preoccupied with career woes and hoping to get lost in me as a distraction? I was so drawn to you and thinking about how we met, I thought it would never get any better than that night. Did I put that out in to the universe to make that reality? I admired you and liked you so much and then it just stopped. I’d pass you and we don’t speak. I catch you looking at me and you never talked to me or contacted me again. I hate you for it so much. No one every made me feel the way that you did the first night I met you. It probably remains a fantasy in my head because it was interrupted never finished and I never got to know all of you. Why did you do this – why did the universe do this? I fantasize about seducing you and its impossible, you have a family and I am a terrible person for it. Its not fair though I think back to that night that I was to see you again and not going through with it. Why? Why did it happen? It happened because you did not want it to. I did nothing wrong. I hate you for it and hate you telling me that I deserved better. Its meant to appease me but its a backhanded compliment, because you acknowledge I deserve better, but you are not willing to give better. I hate it. I could have let it go the night I met you and it would have just been a nice evening out that did not have to go anywhere. And instead you pursued it and then pulled away and I pulled away. I adored you and it sucks all this time later it sucks.