After all we went through, after everything I put up with for and because of you, I thought we had finally gotten past it. You saved me and I thought I could finally trust you and count on you again. But instead, I get thrown out like garbage. Pregnant with the child we had planned, talked about so much, and you throw me out and blame me. You broke my heart worse than I ever thought it could break. Here I am fighting every day to save this child, multiple doctors appointments, bed rest, trips to the emergency room, seeing the baby for the first time, hearing the heart beat, all without you. I cry over what you are missing out on, that I have to go through this alone. But I don’t hate you. I can’t. I love you so much still, I love this child we created, I wish you were here to hold me and kiss my forehead, that I could fall asleep on my spot on your chest, hearing your heart beating, and know everything will be okay. Instead I hold the pillow that every day smells less like you and cry myself to sleep while I whisper to our baby that someday her daddy will change and he will love his little princess so much. I really hope you can because this little baby who I know is a girl already, is fighting for her life and she will need her daddy. Every little girl needs a daddy, and I know you are already a great dad. I just cannot understand why you did this and why but I still defend you to everyone, I still protect you and love you. I always will, we went through too much together for me not to. I could never hate you even if I tried.