• Nobodycares

    by  • June 16, 2014 • Depression • 4 Comments

    I’m smart enough to know I deserve to be better to myself. Yet I’m so good at loving others even better than I can imagine to love myself. Always finding those that exude the confidence I hold within deploying the necessary weapons to succeed in this cruel world in which i live. But I’m fiece! I love so madly those that I couldn’t ever possibly loving as much as I crave to be loved. Who besides myself can love so passionately and openly? Life. So heartbreaking, only the thought of death seems just. What is life? What is the purpose of existence when you’re filled with an empty longing to be loved, supported, encouraged loved everyone falls short… Not that no one bit because no one cares no one cares and no one ever will. You are always alone in this world where you long to feel needed…wanted, desired, purposed, important. But you live in a world that always always always brings to your awareness how unimportant, replaceable, inadequate, Unvalued, undesired, unimpressive, ugly, fat, old, you really are and then nothing… No grace of god. No family no loved ones. Just a big fat empty feeling where you were once so hopeful. I have never wanted to leave this existence so badly. Fuck all you self centered self righteous self absorbed assholes! May you find the existence that you deserve.

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    4 Responses to Nobodycares

    1. Hold on, survivor. You are needed here.
      June 17, 2014 at 1:05 pm

      Yes, the world can be cruel and cold. It can make you feel worthless, empty and lost. But there are survivors like you. There are people who think like you, who want the same things as you, who understand you and want you. There are people who need you as you need them. Hold on, survivor. Your mission is about to begin. You are needed here.




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    2. No
      June 17, 2014 at 7:23 pm

      Someone does care. I care, and I dont even know you. Talk to someone, you never know what the future holds…




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    3. Anon
      June 18, 2014 at 4:47 am

      Consolations, explanations, suggestions? What good are they to you?
      I know not much, though slight, i have written on here about something that made me empty, made me feel absolutely alone and lost and like why do i bother.
      I still feel it a bit but i push through the days and pray to God. I am not saying you should too, although i find it a help to talk about anything and everything and keep pushing.
      What advice can i give?
      Start with you, what do YOU want in life? Job, skills, abilities? I am confident that most things can be learned or acquired over time, so start there, think what you would love to do or own or work as, then study or practice that, even just a day at a time an hour a day just keep practicing, there are free resources available and little by little you can gain the skills and abilities, ask friends email companies for a trial even a no pay one. Slowly this way your work life and your desires for skills and abilities will improve.
      For love? Who knows, that is my issue, and it will ever go un answered. But you maybe have no one in mind. Start by mixing with more people, try different groups, but never ever be anyone but you, over time and exposure of you to more people, you will find those who like you for you. Then slowly join internet dating sites, join more social groups and amongst all else you do you will find a person, man or woman and be happy.
      It is not a day thing or weeks or even months. This all takes years but…..Time you have if you give it to yourself. Throwing yourself into a time of self examination will make you love yourself first as you identify what YOU want, and as you are happier in you, you will be at ease with others, as you make connections with people who know the real you and stick around you will forge bonds that matter. That doesn’t mean never a loss or betrayal, but the balance will tilt and you will feel the love you want and deserve. Do it today, begin to see not just an abstract “i want….” but detail it in all aspects of your life. You are worth it and you will realise your worth and accomplish more than one goal this way.




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    4. choices
      June 19, 2014 at 3:04 pm

      It is only a cold, cruel world because you make it. You allow your awareness to lead you down that path and your awaress becomes your perception and your perception becomes your reality sadly becomes your life.




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