You were the first I ever fall for, the first I ever really wanted as teen. I was your rebound screw when you was hurt, and needed to hurt her in return.
I suffered through alot of flack I was given for our mistake, for alot of years. After all why should a girl like me, get to have a guy like you.
We never spoke for years, everytime something went wrong in your love life, it had to be me that caused it apparently. Little did you know it was your own mother who was causing the shit for you, no wonder you have an issue with women, I mean what hope have you got honey, when you can’t even trust the one that gave birth to you.
So we actually start to speak again, I could actually look at you and smile in a friendly manner, and say hello. Then business brought us back in contact again. You and your lover was having a rocky patch, which was sad to see, as I really like this one, she is good for you. All was going well, thought the past was left in the past. Pfft how wrong was I.? You had to ask didn’t you. Once again you thought you would play your little game of self satisfaction.
I stood there stund, words just come out of my mouth, like I was on auto speech pilot.
It hurt so much. You knew all them years ago I loved you. I was deeply in love with you..
I accepted years ago I would never have a look in, but you had to prove me wrong then, and now twenty years on, when I finally got over it all you start helping me out, letting me help you out. Which I thought was just a “hey great to be mates again” thing. However I was wrong again, you opened a whole deep seeded, emotional can of feelings, I thought I would never have to deal with again….
You knew back then, and you know now. I don’t want to love you again. I really want to hate you..Yes it takes two to tango, but I would have never asked you to dance. I was content being the wall flower, watching you, and your partner moving around the dance floor of life.
So here I am again miserably in love, and hating it. Why couldn’t you just let me be. Didn’t want you to be beautiful in my eyes,heart,thoughts, and dreams again. I had forgotten how beautiful, strong, and charming you are. :'(. <3. Stay with her please old boy.