Just letting you know what you already know. You see that I am very irritable sometimes and angry. I know you understand but please be patient with me. Instill your patience and lovingness within me. Please help me to be kind and wholesome, cleanse my mind and heart. My overly sexual and lustful mind. It is just nature, I guess. I feel very old. My aunt says I am fresh out the womb. She makes m e feel better. I will officially be an adult (kind of) in one day. I will miss telling men I’m only 19. Please help me to gain responsibility as I age but not lose my innocent, youthful glow. I find that in myself very becoming. I want to be young at heart just like that man whom you know I highly admire. I just want to enjoy my life. I feel like I cannot have fun without being held back by inhibitions of worries. I know I am very precious to my family, like a first born son to a king, but I just want a little freedom. I want to enjoy my youth while its still here. I want you. I want to be beautiful in you. I love my family and myself and you very very much. I want friends. Good ones. My best friend, there is no one who compares to her but I want someone who is here all the time. I miss her. I hope I get to see her this summer. I cannot wait to see my family and have some fun this summer. I am already having end-of-semester-itis. I just want to get it over with and get on that plane out of here!
Today is a very special day for my friend. I hope I can make it extra spacial for him. I am so happy to accompany him. I hope it is fun. I hope I have some good food. My favorite thing in the world. I am anticipating the food the most. Yum yum. Please protect us tonight and on my further endeavours this summer. I miss my dad. Please help me with my financial situation. I am worried about paying my tuition. I know I will be able to finance my vacation. Its my school Im a very worried about. Every day I feel Like dirt remembering when I accidentally turned down that full scholarship. I already had a half one. But they didn’t need to know that!! That’s extra thousands in my pocket! I wish that was the case. I know I will be OK. I ask for your support in my spiritual and emotional growth, finances, family and relationships and in this time of life where I am transitioning into the person you want me to be, a fine young woman. I know you are developing the perfect man for me. But I wish not to continue breaking hearts in the mean time. I honestly rather to be the unfazed than the broken hearted. But I know what it feels like to be hurt and crushed so I do not want to be the reason anyone goes through it. Not that I don’t want to be loved. I most definitely do.