I am so sorry i lost a friend because i loved her, if i could change things i would of course change it to have you love me. Everything i said will be true till the day i die, i can never change that, but i have made a commitment to where i am because at least i can make her life happy that way, at least i can make her feel she is loved beyond all measure.
What if ? That will always be a question in my mind, except it’s a fantasy isn’t it because there will never ever be a me and you. But in a different reality i would wish you could see through my hearts feelings and my eyes. You just are the most beautiful woman on the planet now or ever. Any time of day or night whatever you wear or don’t wear, you are an angel. All you are is beyond words. It will hurt me when you are with someone, and i will have no one to tell that i am dying inside. Your rejection killed me, and now it is worse because you hate me too. What crime was it that i loved you.
In life we do not choose who we love and i know beyond any doubt that i love you more than anyone because i know i would face my greatest fears for you, i would walk through a fire to save you, drown in an ocean for you. Fight a lion for you. And i would cherish you for eternity, to be able to wake up and kiss you and to come home to you. Nothing in life could be mundane if i were with you. You add a sparkle to anything.
I will love you so long as i have awareness of you. If earthly death is the end then it will be unto then, otherwise i will love you longer than the stars in the night sky will burn.
I haven’t words to describe how i feel, the devotion, the wonder, the gut wrenching pain of not being near you. But despite a torn heart, despite the hatred you now feel for me, i wish you the love you deserve and happiness for all your days. The tears i shed have gone but the stain of agony remains daily. My last words to you that you will never even read are this. You are beautiful,funny,clever,kind, caring and the shining light of wonder in my life, i am glad to have known you. I will cherish you for all my days, and wish you all your dreams may come true and pray God will love and protect you and send you a man that loves you as i do. Goodbye my friend, i will always hold you in my heart.