• Guilty love but endless love

    by  • May 28, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Love - Pure and Simple • 6 Comments

    I am so sorry i lost a friend because i loved her, if i could change things i would of course change it to have you love me. Everything i said will be true till the day i die, i can never change that, but i have made a commitment to where i am because at least i can make her life happy that way, at least i can make her feel she is loved beyond all measure.

    What if ? That will always be a question in my mind, except it’s a fantasy isn’t it because there will never ever be a me and you. But in a different reality i would wish you could see through my hearts feelings and my eyes. You just are the most beautiful woman on the planet now or ever. Any time of day or night whatever you wear or don’t wear, you are an angel. All you are is beyond words. It will hurt me when you are with someone, and i will have no one to tell that i am dying inside. Your rejection killed me, and now it is worse because you hate me too. What crime was it that i loved you.

    In life we do not choose who we love and i know beyond any doubt that i love you more than anyone because i know i would face my greatest fears for you, i would walk through a fire to save you, drown in an ocean for you. Fight a lion for you. And i would cherish you for eternity, to be able to wake up and kiss you and to come home to you. Nothing in life could be mundane if i were with you. You add a sparkle to anything.

    I will love you so long as i have awareness of you. If earthly death is the end then it will be unto then, otherwise i will love you longer than the stars in the night sky will burn.

    I haven’t words to describe how i feel, the devotion, the wonder, the gut wrenching pain of not being near you. But despite a torn heart, despite the hatred you now feel for me, i wish you the love you deserve and happiness for all your days. The tears i shed have gone but the stain of agony remains daily. My last words to you that you will never even read are this. You are beautiful,funny,clever,kind, caring and the shining light of wonder in my life, i am glad to have known you. I will cherish you for all my days, and wish you all your dreams may come true and pray God will love and protect you and send you a man that loves you as i do. Goodbye my friend, i will always hold you in my heart.

    6 Responses to Guilty love but endless love

    1. can you?
      May 28, 2014 at 11:10 am

      I sympathise with this letter. I’m not your person, but I’m someone else’s in that way. I have to ask…how can you possibly make your partner feel completely loved and happy if you have feelings for this other woman? I understand this woman doesn’t return your feelings and you should move on but, where is your happiness in this?

    2. Gemini
      May 28, 2014 at 12:04 pm

      “…if i could change things i would of course change it to have you love me…”

      No offense, but that’s pretty selfish. 🙁

    3. S
      May 28, 2014 at 3:20 pm

      This is beautiful. God I so wish it was someone I knew.

    4. May 28, 2014 at 7:28 pm

      This is beautiful.
      Maybe you should try n reconcile.
      She may just be angry, through feeling the same.

    5. can you? (echo)
      May 30, 2014 at 6:15 am

      You think I sound like her? OK, let me “help” you. You are playing the martyr. Knock your friend off the pedestal you hoisted her on because you make it sound as though she shits diamonds. The woman who loves you? I would hate to be her. Guilt or greatfulness that she loves you sounds like a job. It sounds like a job you are happy you have due to the economy, but you’d much rather have a career in a whole different field. Have you ever thought that this idealistic view of this other woman is just an excuse to not be 100% “in it” with the one who loves you? If I were she, knowing you felt so strongly about “her”, it would completely change my view of the relationship I thought I had. I would feel like 2nd place. The truth comes out in many little ways and affects the bigger picture. Leave both women out of this and figure out what YOUR issue is. This could get so much worse.

    6. Author
      May 30, 2014 at 9:03 am


      Thanks, your right, as is Gemini. I shall try to do as you say. It isn’t easy, but we all know that i am not the first to face the problem an whilst it may be that i do see her as shitting diamonds as you say. Theres only one way and that is to get “her” out of my head by never seeing her again. It will hurt but since ive lost anyway i have to do what you say get over one and be 100 per cent with the other or move on totally, a new area a new life maybe. I came here to just vent my emotion and pain but its good to hear someone say wake the Hell up. I may never forget her or stop caring if i am seeing her all the time. Thank you you have helped a lot.

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