• Who Knew?

    by  • May 27, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Frustration • 4 Comments

    There is a name for my problem. I’ll be darned. There is a reason that I will most likely be alone forever. “Dismissive Avoidant.” (Cue the ominous sound effects.)

    4 Responses to Who Knew?

    1. I know
      May 27, 2014 at 9:58 pm

      I know someone like this. It’s the hardest relationship I’ve ever had. I used to think there was something wrong with me. I never felt safe with them. Tried my hardest, but after so long of being pushed away, I just kept on walking one day. Now I’m with someone who I’ve never felt insecure with. And we are very independent from one another. My perspective is that it’s very hard to maintain a strong relationship with someone who acts like you are the enemy. I wish you luck.

    2. a reader
      May 28, 2014 at 6:28 am

      @ I know, I know what you mean. Unfortunately, if you really love someone, you will keep trying to convince your person that you are no enemy. Maybe for too long. Congrats to you. You managed to get out of it. You give me hope.

    3. I know
      May 28, 2014 at 11:53 am

      @a reader – I’m sorry you assume to think I didn’t love my person. You don’t know me. True love comes from loving yourself first – not becoming co-dependent in hopes a fairy-tale comes true. What if I told you love still persists but not in a workable relationship? Is that love any less valid because we don’t need one another? Because we understand that sometimes life isn’t fair and maybe other personality types makes us happier in the day to day drudgery of life? Love exists in many forms. Ironically I’ve been reassuring him lately I’m not the enemy. He knows that. It’s just not in the same way as it once was. A healthy relationship to me is not one where one tests and runs and the other has to convince. That’s just drama.

    4. a reader
      May 29, 2014 at 10:23 am

      @I know. No, I didn’t assume that you didn’t love your person. I thought of my situation, but I see that I didn’t make that clear. I just wanted to say I understand you.

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