I think I have obsessive love disorder as it explains all the symptoms I’m having, including –
* Fixation with a person who is believed to be the sole source of happiness and fulfillment.
* The onset of “tunnel vision”. Where the sufferer is dependent their love interest and cannot stop thinking about them
* Fantasies about the love interest overwhelm the suffer and can lead to a semi-delusional state
* With deterioration of a love relationship, stress and anxiety disorders intensify.
* Overwhelming feelings of depression.
* Sudden and crippling loss of self-esteem after a relationship ends
* Intense feelings of guilt and self-hatred.
* Denial that the relationship has ended.
* Inability to imagine a future without the love interest
And the relationship continues in my fantasy as thats where I tend to live and thats where I retreat to. But the reality that it has actually ended is destroying me.
I think back to my past and I honestly feel that inside I have barely changed since my very early years and I still relate to the world around me in very similar ways. Also I often try to retreat to my past in whatever way I can and escape from reality by living in a fantasy world.