• OLD, A good read!

    by  • May 27, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Thoughts • 8 Comments

    I think I have obsessive love disorder as it explains all the symptoms I’m having, including –

    * Fixation with a person who is believed to be the sole source of happiness and fulfillment.
    * The onset of “tunnel vision”. Where the sufferer is dependent their love interest and cannot stop thinking about them
    * Fantasies about the love interest overwhelm the suffer and can lead to a semi-delusional state
    * With deterioration of a love relationship, stress and anxiety disorders intensify.
    * Overwhelming feelings of depression.
    * Sudden and crippling loss of self-esteem after a relationship ends
    * Intense feelings of guilt and self-hatred.
    * Denial that the relationship has ended.
    * Inability to imagine a future without the love interest

    And the relationship continues in my fantasy as thats where I tend to live and thats where I retreat to. But the reality that it has actually ended is destroying me.

    I think back to my past and I honestly feel that inside I have barely changed since my very early years and I still relate to the world around me in very similar ways. Also I often try to retreat to my past in whatever way I can and escape from reality by living in a fantasy world.

    8 Responses to OLD, A good read!

    1. author
      May 27, 2014 at 4:17 pm

      I just thought that some of you are suffering from this, having read some of your letters. 🙁

    2. Ugh!
      May 27, 2014 at 9:37 pm

      I hate to ‘throw a wet blanket’ on what; I’m sure, was an attempt to be helpful but… studying psychology can be like looking up a symptom on webmd.
      I have studied psychology a bit and it seems that the more I studied, the more I started to think that these “disorders” are just utopian bullshit to create revenue and help formulate a controlled society.
      Psychologists will say “you have ____(place some social disorder here)”…where I would say, “he’s just shy”, “he’s creative” or “he’s just an asshole”. It seems more like making an excuse rather than placing responsibily or accountability for a persons actions.
      All of our lives, we are told that we are all different, united in our species but all individuals. Yet there are so many things that lump people into categories. We keep segregating ourselves by placing labels. People may have similarities but one should not go around ‘diagnosing’ themselves or others because they are not “the norm” in anothers opinion. If one doesn’t fit the mold of the perfect utopian citizen, embrace it. There’s nothing wrong with gaining knowledge and understanding with anything in this world but stop thinking somethings “wrong” when its really just…different!

    3. @ugh!
      May 28, 2014 at 2:33 pm

      Sorry but there are basic human behaviors that are atypical and lumped together they are a good indicator or explanation as to why a person does what they do, even given the range of human behavior. So if you happen to recognise yourself in this category, at least look into it. For these are not your typical behaviours after break up. Your childhood, your hormones and your personality are at play here!

    4. Ugh
      May 29, 2014 at 8:31 am

      No, I do not find myself within this category though I can relate to some of the feelings and I’m sure just about everyone has experienced most of these symptoms to a degree.
      I agree that psychology helps us to better understand why people act a certain way and do what they do. Thats the science of it.. Basic psychology explains that pretty well. When I got to point of study about “disorders” is where I started to dislike it. There were so many that seemed unnecessary…it has gotten to the point to where anyone and everyone has a label now and it’s called a “disorder” and then they are drugged or convinced that the root cause is wrong..crippling something that is probably actually an aid to your purpose, your being. The word disorder, itself can make a person even more upset about what they are going through. Then they start to feel like something is wrong with them, that they are a problem, not normal..when in reality, everyone has their ‘thing’ it just happens in different ways. More often than not I find that it happens for a reason.
      There are basic types of personalities and characteristics but they manifest themselves in different ways. This letter describes an obsessive behavior, plain and simple. Gaining an understanding and acceptance of obsession, followed by studying yourself is a better way to follow it up and then proceed with what you want or need to do by your own standards. Yes, there are some people who need more outside assistance because they have a severe problem that makes it impossible to help themselves. You do not appear to be one of those people. Seeking help is great. Go for it. Talking about it with someone you trust or a therapist is probably one of the best ways that you could help yourself because then it is personal and you are not approaching the problem from someone elses experiences or point of view.
      Now for the acceptance and responsibility…you cant blame a “disorder” unless it is a severe problem that keeps you from being able to make any kind of rational decision..something like multiple personalities or something. Don’t put the responsibility of who you are or what is best for you onto someone else; It’s yours to bare. Same goes for past experiences. If something happened to you in the past and it is impacting your present and future, it is because you are allowing it to. Again, study it, face it, accept it, do what you have to do to make it work for you, not against you and make the effort to be the you that you want to be. If someone else screwed up and it effected you then that’s their wrong, their bad, not yours. Don’t let their screw up make you think that you are screw up. It will only perpetuate the vicious cycle.

      I know this saying is pretty worn out but..some of the greatest people were completely or at least semi-crazy! They had that something about them that made them unique, made them special and I think we all could agree that their ‘thing’ created something beautiful. Just keep that in mind. Fix what hinders you from doing and being what you want but don’t lose the ‘thing’ that makes you unique.
      Could you imagine a world where everyone was the same? All normal? Nothing different? Nothing ‘wrong’?
      If that were the case, humans would probably cease to exist due to extinction or by COLLECTIVELY devising a plan to off themselves to spare themselves of an excruciatingly dull and boring existence.

    5. Ugh
      May 29, 2014 at 8:46 am

      Oh and… look at it this way, at least you can relate to OLD vs what could possibly be the opposite OHD-Obsessive Hate Disorder. Both, I assume, could be devastating but at least you’re not harming anyone else. May be silly and completely irrelevant but it could be considered a silver lining…

    6. maybe it's a mix of both
      May 29, 2014 at 10:42 am

      Maybe psychology helps to understand and improve awareness. What we do with it depends on us.

    7. Ugh
      May 29, 2014 at 11:42 am

      Sorry..me again. Lol. I know I dont know you from Adam…or Eve and you dont know me but..I believe maybe there are answers within the problems here. I would be happy to talk to you about it and see if it can shed some light here, if you’re up to it. I dont want to argue or play ‘right or wrong’ everyone has their opinions on ‘this and that’. I can be very opinionated and have a tendency to either be very quiet/reserved or I just can’t shut the hell up. Lol. I’m sorry if my banter has offended or upset you. I have an obsessive/addictive personality too..that’s my ‘thing’…or at least one of them. It can be a burden at times but I am quite aware of it. I have never really been a poster person for complete sanity but sometimes I find it to be a blessing. Like I said, I wouldnt mind discussing these symptoms with you if would like a sounding board and/or outside view.

    8. author
      May 30, 2014 at 5:22 pm

      No kidding ugh!! Your writing is not offensive just annoying. Please do just shut the hell up!

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