Are we at each other’s throats?
Can’t we just love each other.
I feel sick around you, anxious, lost….. blocked out.
I won’t be able to stick it out if things don’t change, I will quit and move on completely. That way we won’t have to make each other miserable.
I’m not handling the change in you towards me.
You’re more careful now, you’re more scared now.
Maybe I am too.
I just miss when I didn’t think of you as anything but someone that I got along very well with.
Other people put the ideas in my head that you liked me and I liked you and that we flirted. They actually thought that we were sleeping together…and then… everything changed.
I realized that the looks between us, the touching, the always wanting to be close to each other, the vibrations between us when we stood close together… I saw it like everyone else saw it.
I got angry, because you tried to hide the fact that you had a girlfriend, but it came out, of course. I remember how my heart dropped in my chest. You knew, you shared that moment when the truth came out too. You walked away silently. I tried to distance myself from you as much as possible after that. I pushed and pushed and then.. I eventually became bitter and angry.
I was fooled again.
Time and distance left us not feeling anything for each other. Now we are forced to see each other again and it’s just…frustration anxiety and anger. There are the odd moments where a flicker comes through, but while on one side I try to hold onto that little glimmer of hope, I also want to burn it down to the ground.
If you were available to be loved it would be a different story.
Another sad not meant to be thing.
The story of my life.