I am trying to figure out how to escape from your grip. You are sexier than anything boy and I was too shy to kiss you in third grade but wow have you grown to be a beautiful human. I wish you could be here with me. I would hesitantly kiss you and then pretend it didnt happen. I just wanna know what your lips taste like. Why am I such a loser and why did I have to go fuck around with assholes. We could have been so much probably. But now I am fucked up and permanently turned off by relationships. Hurting and bleeding over someone who hurt me. How often I wished you were near. You thought it was puppy love. But it wasnt J. I can feel it now too. What the fuck ever. I am going to sleep. Alone. And forever alone bc I am now scared of everyone. I will push you so far away you will then be an ex everytibng. I just wush none of this past existed. I want to redo it. But with you. Hell no I wont tell you this and hell no I wont ever kiss you. My lips will never touch another human beings again.