It’s ironic that I have a fear of aging…
When I feel as if I am an eighty year old lady stuck in the body of a twenty two year old.
This might make me sound mature, cultured, or boring.
In reality, it’s just very lonely.
How much I long to be able to connect to someone my age, to find ANYONE who can relate to how I feel. Everyone I know is so excited to go out to bars, dance and sweat to loud music, find men to buy them drinks.
I’d love to sit at home with my paintbrushes, listen to music and enjoy the fresh air coming through my balcony doors and all I want is someone else to want that, too.
To find someone who doesn’t have to go and do something to enjoy spending time with someone.
To find someone who wouldn’t love anything more than to come over for some jasmine tea and good conversation.
To find someone who is interested in talking about politics, art, culture, religion, and likes to debate about their opinions.
I’ve got a wonderful husband.
I’ve got wonderful friends.
How on earth can I feel so isolated?
To listen to girls my age talk about how “unique” and “rare” they are when all I can think about is how much I would LOVE to be like everyone else, just to feel like I’m not alone and that I’m not crazy.
I’m not crazy, right?
I’ve got some best friend out there frustrated and looking for someone like me, right?