• things i need you to hear (advice would help)

    by  • May 18, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Confusion • 1 Comment

    dear dom,

    you’ve been my ex for months now, yet we still keep finding ways into each other’s lives. we go through phases of not speaking where i convince myself i’m over you, yet one small thing and i’m back to square one. we broke up a while ago now, that week i was dreading of facing you but we ended up living at our friends house for the whole week, we had our own room and it was like we were together again, remember how good that week was? i was terrified when that week was coming to an end yet you then invited me to your house and again we lived together for the week. you told me you loved me and saw a chance of us getting back together, what happened? i was willing and then we just drifted as if it was normal to drop feeling just like that. you’re in my psychology class, you sat next to me for a whole year, of course it wasn’t going to be easy to get over you, i tried though, but nobody compares, they’ll never be you. the whole year after this we’ve been friends or we’ll have days of no interaction, you’re always in my head though. at every night out, every place we stay, every gathering we come together, why? i remember seeing you kiss a friend at a party and i ran out, you came after me and i couldn’t look at you without crying, i never want to feel that again. it was last month we saw eachother properly at a party (the house we lived in in summer) of course feeling were going to come back…we slept together, then two days later on the night out i stayed at yours…we slept together, a week later, another night out, you stayed at mine…we slept together. usually when this happens i sense regret and ‘this was a sill idea’ i didn’t these times, it was nice, it felt right, it’s our A levels this month, my mum went to turkey a week ago and you stayed with me two nights in a row, you were here yesterday morning, you made us breakfast and i ran you a bath , we slept together, i really felt like it was us again, i’m confused. i love you so much, i don’t know if i can see us together, but i don’t even know how you think of me anymore, do you still have feelings for me? in the slightest? do you like other people? am i just there when you’re bored? i can’t get over you, i don’t want to, but i’ll never tell you this as i know there’s a chance you’ll say ‘you’re right we shouldn’t keep doing this’ and then i won’t have you in that way anymore and we’ll lose contact, it’s summer soon, i’ll probably see a lot of you, will this happen again, i want to kiss you again but everytime it’s more confusing, i don’t want you to be with anyone else, if that day comes i’m terrified of the pain i will feel, i don’t know what we’re doing, i just know i love you, i hope you do love me in some way


    One Response to things i need you to hear (advice would help)

    1. you
      May 19, 2014 at 5:58 am

      You are already giving him sex and company without strings. He has what he wants without commitment. You are being used. Respect yourself. How can he if you don’t?

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