• Should I let you go?

    by  • May 16, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Letting Go • 24 Comments

    Its been almost two years.
    I’ve hung on for whatever reasons I don’t know.
    It’s kind of hard to let you when literally EVERYTHING spells your name, resembles you. It’s like even if I tried to let you go that (you) hangs over my head, travels wherever I go. You get it?? Why is one question among many other others. There are times all I can do is laugh at the situation, barely keep a straight face, then there are times I want to cry out of frustration of your “presence.” I get angry because I feel like what I do is no longer private. At least give me something.. Tell me to let you go and I will do it. Or tell me to hang on… I need something. I think I at least deserve that much. My life is on hold for you. You’re the one that has placed a completeness in my heart that no other man has been able or will be able to fit so perfectly. regardless of the outcome, you just happen to be that one that those who love each other into their golden years talk about.. that first, their last, their only.
    From all the many questions I have stored up inside for these two years, answer this one… SHOULD I LET GO?

    24 Responses to Should I let you go?

    1. Llttm
      May 16, 2014 at 2:17 pm

      Do not let go. There’s a reason you’re still thinking those things.

    2. Welshie'sBabyGirls
      May 16, 2014 at 3:08 pm

      This is so perfect. This explains exactly how I feel, there’s no question of whether I want to wait for him or not, just whether it’s best for the both of us or not. With his newborn daughter in my arms I’ve never loved him more, but knowing it could be years til we meet again makes me think is it best for her to move on? She needs her daddy, I’d never deprive her of that. But it’s him that’s deprived her of a daddy, by doing the things he does and getting arrested days before her birth. I just want him home, with us. But will he keep doing this again? And if so, that’s when I need to leave. Though it will break my heart to do so. I hope you get your answers. X

    3. A
      May 16, 2014 at 3:46 pm

      You need to tell this person that you’re holding on. It may not look like you’re holding on at all and that is causing him or her not to say anything.

    4. anonymoys
      May 16, 2014 at 6:04 pm

      Dear if you havent heard from a man for a month its because his busy dating and flirting with other girls and not because he thinks of you or he feels the same way for you.

      Boys will be boys. If they love you nothing can keep them away from you. If they don’t, silence is what you get from them. Its better for then not to tell you upfront than to tell you face to face the truth. The truth is he dont love you. He dont care about you and his happy not to hear from you. So let it go. Let it go, be free from fantasies that will never come true and find or wait for the one who will never confuse you.

    5. Gemini
      May 17, 2014 at 8:56 am

      I side with A’s point of view, for more and anonymoys’.

      We tend to ascribe negativity to situations or people, in which we really shouldn’t. anonymoys’ point of view would have you sit at home wait for the one who would beat your door down to get to you.

      “…nothing can keep them away from you…” [sic] Such a trite lie. There are many times when staying away is more conducive than being a self-centered aggressor. Such a generalization (in nigh a sexist tone) accounts for nothing else than the arrival at some primitive mentality of what men should do in a situation.

      Let me retort in saying that there are numerous rational posits, that contradict your implication:

      1. If there is a child involved, the altruistic approach is to consider the effect of what you do/could do/might do. It no longer anything involving just two people. Yes, if you care for the parent, there’s a high probability that you’ll care for the child but, more oft than not, people don’t live together before getting into a relationship. Assuming the person of your affections lives close to their family, and you do not, who should move? Is it not selfish to ask this of them? And if you cannot get work in your field where they live?

      2. Most issues with communication occur over a misunderstanding via an impersonal medium (e.g./i.e.: text, email, etc.). Communication is key to any relationship. Anytime you’re assumptive, things are going to end bad, o.k.?

      3. “…if you haven’t heard from a man for a month its because his busy dating and flirting with other girls and not because he thinks of you or he feels the same way for you.” [sic] You couldn’t be furthest from anything remotely being the truth. To start off, this is another generalization. You indirectly equate men to whoremongers. It is certainly possible for men for to think of or feel the same way for a woman and not be communicative. The invidious distinction you make is that it’s the man’s responsibility to keep discourse going but isn’t a relationship a 50-50, give and take scenario? If a woman is no longer communicative, is your inference that it means she no loner feels the same way?

      4. “Boys will be boys.” How is this anything remotely anything having to do anything? Yep. That’s it. You caught us: we’re just being boys. Damn. You sure did foil our evil scheme. Whatever shall we do, now? … Such an ambivalence you create: in one sentence, you say that if we care, nothing will keep us from them. (Going to let that settle in on just how Creepy McCreeperton that sounds… Think about it.) In another sentence, you cast the entire male population into an archaic group of people, incapable of change or progression. Which is it? If it’s the latter, why do you infer the former? In that case, isn’t it an unrealistic expectation?

      5. “The truth is he dont love you. He dont care about you and his happy not to hear from you.” [sic] Oh, now you’re into mind-reading, as well? I’m impressed! I’m so glad you could use your awesome minding-reading powers against some random guy in the world, who has a relation to this anonymous author. Otherwise, where else could this assumption – with such audacity – come from?

      I’m not looking to be a troll or be mean or be crass, here. I don’t care if you’ve had bad relationships and that affects your view-point; rather, that’s somewhat understandable. What does matter is the reckless abandon with which some people seem to cast others into molds that they, perhaps, shouldn’t even be in. Please stop assuming the worst of people – much less, because they have Y allosomes.

      TL;DR – The **** some people say is cray-cray!

    6. Author
      May 17, 2014 at 9:26 am

      i don’t want to let go because i love him but should i say logically given the”circumstances,” is there something there to hang on to? its almost like i should set a goal.. hang on til… to see and if nothing.. well then i guess ill move forward in life, close that door. you finally get to the point where thinking or assuming isn’t actually knowing whether you see things i a different light, that doesn’t prove that it is what you think it is.. its a complex situation but without knowing what is ahead, you feel like taking this road to no where won’t end and that the detour to reality seems like the direction to consider. ill give myself two more months. them closure Will have to happen, i can’t keep spending my days, wishing, hoping waiting.

    7. anonymoys
      May 17, 2014 at 10:26 pm


      I shall say nothing but the truth. Not because Of bad experience or whatever disillusion you can ever think of. How can one say, his also thinking of you to the sender of this letter when all this time, the man of his dreams remains no contact with her. Fact is he is not thinking of her. That’ s the truth, bitch.

      Would you rather believe in a lie or truth? If someone cares for you, he or she will be playing an active role in your life. Not your imagination. Hello, wake up gemini. Just face the truth. Stop making girls believe to non sense things.

    8. @gemini..Author
      May 18, 2014 at 6:38 am

      i agree with you. not everyones situation is a carbon copy to everyone else’s.
      although i appreciate others comments, this situation delves deeper and is rather hard go explain.
      all i know is i love him.

    9. wtf
      May 18, 2014 at 12:05 pm

      While I don’t always agree with what Gemini has to say I do appreciate his viewpoint. He even prefaced what was said by stating he wasn’t intentionally trying to come off as a dick.(my opinion). So while I might tend to agree with what Anonymoys said regarding belief in the more likeliest of scenerios, calling Gemini a bitch is not only completely out of line, but completely heinously fucked up.

    10. @anonymous
      May 18, 2014 at 7:41 pm

      Your abhorrence for such things only beguiles your prejudice in your views and your disposition during discourse. You assume to know the “truth” but you haven’t the faintest clue what the subject of the author’s letter is thinking, much less is doing, much less any concept of them – as a person – outside of what the author has written.

      To speak with authority is to know the facts. Your ‘authority’ swims in the rivers of the misguided beliefs and wildly-based assumptions that you can only, marginally, support hitherto. I’m sure you’ll attempt some meager and banal retort but, before you do: prove this stance you have that ‘he is not thinking of her’. Proof, as in something tangible – not something you’re surmising from some past event with which YOU have experience. In other words, how can you say you know what another (whom you’ve never met) has thought or is thinking, so emphatically? Is there some access you have to neuronal synapses of complete strangers that, by even today’s medical and science standards, is impossible?

      “Stop making girls believe to non sense things.” Am I to believe that you assume girls can’t rationalize on their own and arrive at their own conclusions? I can no more MAKE someone believe something than I can fabricate matter from nothing. Please, use your words or stop replying. It’s only getting worse, trying to formulate just what the hell you’re trying to say and respond.

      @Author – Let me, first, begin by saying that I empathize with your situation; though, I know not the full details nor any further context. You are not alone in the way that you feel. If this site is anything, it’s a demonstration that there are many in your position, throughout the world. Though, I may never meet you nor know you or have any further discourse with you, outside of this reply, I do send hugs and well wishes via the tubes of the internets. 🙂

      Also, I apologize. As a ‘guy’, I see remarks that are so generalizing, as to be crass and feel the need to respond – if only because letting it stand is only a testament that it isn’t refuted. I’m sorry. Your letter wasn’t the proper place to have a soap-box.

    11. anonymoys
      May 19, 2014 at 3:32 am

      Well it is what it is. Take it or leave it drama king

    12. @@anon
      May 19, 2014 at 6:48 am

      thank you. and very much agreed. the guy this letter is intended to isn’t a jerk kind of guy by no stretch of thru imagination. he’s (what i believe) is kind hearted, hard working, just an all around genuine guy. and yes, some ppl will take their own experiences of failed relationships or love and paint it into someone else’s story.

    13. anonymoys
      May 19, 2014 at 1:43 pm

      Seriously? I am talking about facts.
      Not imagination.
      Well i cant force people to prefer live in reality than pure imagination.
      Fact. They havent seen each other fir two years. No contact.
      Imagination. She still think of him.
      Keep holding on. On her own.
      So what should i say, lie like yeah there’s a reason why she feels that way? That maybe he also feels the same way.
      No. I shall say nothing but the truth. Even if it hurts. At least it will help her for real. She still thinks of him because she chose to. I am 100 percent sure he have forgotten her. Period. I am making sense because my opinion is based in facts. Not Imagination. Like most of u.

    14. im author
      May 19, 2014 at 8:03 pm

      first off you don’t know me or my situation so your “facts,” are anything but factual in regards to me. you don’t know the circumstances. this letter wasn’t intended for you so kindly quit commenting. you’re 100% wrong

    15. Hope
      May 22, 2014 at 11:48 am

      I can relate to the letter but in totally different circumstances. Sometimes a person just needs to write that letter that will never be sent. It helps to “get it out”. And I don’t think anyone but the author knows the answer. I can relate and sympathize and offer my veiwpoint:
      If there is hope don’t let go because there are times when you cannot imagine things getting any worse and just like that it CAN change. I believe we all know in ourselves when it’s the end of a relationship. We might not admit it and we might stay and suffer more but I believe we know. So I say hang in there.

    16. Delusion at best...
      May 24, 2014 at 10:57 am

      If he has let go, then you need to let go or you are hanging on alone, and that is a rather stupid and delusional decision on your part. No?

    17. Hope
      May 25, 2014 at 10:09 am

      Maybe delusional and stupid is a bit harsh, however when you @delusion at best are in the same situation you might understand.

    18. Goldie
      May 25, 2014 at 10:35 am

      Of course someone could act or say they aren’t interested but are. Not only have I done it, I have friends who have done it and I have had it done to me. All for many different reasons but mainly fear of commitment. I also read about it a lot on this website.

      A delusion is a fixed false belief that is resistant to reason or confrontation with actual fact. By definition it describes more of your thought process (anonymoys) than the author or those defending the author.

      Just sayin. 😉

    19. author
      May 25, 2014 at 11:27 am

      if i knew he let go.. absolutely i would.. so delusional no

    20. @Delusion
      May 25, 2014 at 12:51 pm

      Sometimes logic reasoning does not help. Never experienced it?

    21. Similar Situation
      June 5, 2014 at 11:05 am

      Dear Author,

      Sadly I am the aggressor in a similar situation, my partner moved to be with me, gave up her job to a new job here that she dislikes, isn’t as close to her family as she would like and has little friends that are close by.

      I have become upset a few times due to hearing her conversations with men in her life that I don’t know, that she has known for years however when asking about them I am left with the remark “its Nothing” and on occasion a Lie about the matter to save my feelings, but after talking about it the air is cleared and generally things are get better, the more I learn about my partner and talk to her the better the relationship starts to flow, I still have a slight worry but its not a distrust in her, its a distrust in myself, that I am not good enough, strong enough and that it is me that is driving her away.

      If you love him and have doubts about his feelings my advice would be ask him, talk to him try to do things together or offer suggestions and rekindle that completeness of the heart.

      were all human afterall, not one of us are perfect and when love is involved you have to keep fighting to keep that love strong !

    22. lots of fish
      June 5, 2014 at 10:14 pm

      There are lots of fish out there.

    23. tricia
      June 6, 2014 at 7:37 am

      yeah there are lots of fish in the sea but if you’ve ever truly been in love your whole heart is consumed by this one person, moving on and forgetting is easier said than done. i can’t look at guys the same etc. is it possible that someone may come along.. sure but as of right now my way of letting go is allowing it to happen naturally. not force it with a distraction. also, like that adele song, someone like you, where she wants to find
      someone like that person… that wouldn’t even do it for me.l .

    24. las teresitas
      June 7, 2014 at 11:21 am

      I agree with tricia. You can decide to let go, but how do you convince your heart? Stop listening to your heart? Been there, done that. It works. For a while.

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