• To my person, if you exist

    by  • May 11, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Soulmate • 0 Comments

    Dear you,

    ‘you’ can mean many things really; you, the feeling I get when I listen to a song I love, the thought that crosses my mind at 3am and I can’t sleep, the look in some boys eyes. Whether it’s a delusion, romantic notion or real, you exist in my life. I’ve always had that feeling, I’ve always had that yearning – maybe there is someone out there made for me, and someone I was made for. When I was younger I looked for best friends, when I was older I looked for closeness and now I look for you. I know, in part, It stems from my loneliness, insecurity and maybe even narcissism. I know I have to get rid of needing you, to wanting you before I can have you. This is the best thing to happen though, because how would you love me, If I was not me, how could you recognize your person if I was not as designed, how could we be close and real and selfless if I look to you to fulfill my needs. You deserve better, and it’s why we aren’t together now. I need to figure out me, love myself, know myself, be myself. I’ll not ever be perfect, not even in those aspects but I need to be able to maintain myself. I hope you are seeing what you need to make your way to me, I hope you’re doing okay, you’re happy, you’re you, and you love yourself for that – I hope you don’t need me. For you, to have you right now, I’m stopping liking all these boys I may suit, that don’t intrigue me – I’m ignoring the boys that just attract me or the ones that are just sweet or suitable or just funny. These are all perfect lovely boys that I could be happy with, and they may even fulfill my needs – but I know what we could have would be better.

    Leave a Reply