• I’m sorry

    by  • May 8, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Confession • 0 Comments

    Thank you, for an amazing chance at love with you. I’m sorry I screwed it up for us. I usually do. From July 11th, you have shown me how to smile, to cry, and to never give up. You have given me a home, for my heart, and so much more. You erased my doubt, and gave me courage, to be self sufficient and to love unconditionally. You have taught me that honesty is the key. And that trust is a must. You have taught me to do what makes you happy. you even taught me that everything will be okay. But right now, this hurts, just understand, I probably won’t be the same. At least for a few weeks, or longer, who knows. The worst feeling is losing someone. I feel like I’ve lost half of my heart. Half of me. I see you in me. Everyday. Others do too. And now, knowing I will never get to kiss you again, hold you, or feel the warmth of your skin against mine, has made me realize that. You really don’t know what you have until it’s gone, because I would do anything to kiss you one more time, or sleep with you, just one more time. I would do anything to feel you play with my ears, to kiss my neck. Just one more time. I would do anything to arrive home late alone withvyou, and race to the bed. And do anything to hear your morning whimpers. And the way you nestle into a hammock between my legs. And how you cooked for me in the mornings. Or all the times you made me lunch. The times we would drive to the school to kiss, and then the time we got caught. Just one more time. The time you brought me to imos, to show me off to Jo , and the all the times you shed a tear, actually afraid to lose me. And the times we would laugh, and play, and wake up so close, cuddling is an understatement. And anything to beg you to stop tickling me. Just one more time. I’d do anything to hold your hand in the car. And serenade you with my annoying singing as you can only smile, because you find (found) it adorable. I would do anything, to replay the nights like Christmas, and valentines day, and especially the time you blindfolded me to that spot. all of these things, so small, but so damn important to me, I will probably never get again, and that is why I cry, because I took such advantage of these little things, knowing they would be here all along. And now they are gone, I can only blame myself, I just wish, I could have been good enough. For a love like this. For now, there is no hope, other than that we find love again someday, and start fresh. But for now, I am alone, guarded up. And broken. I am sorry. Just know I am sorry.

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