My dear cj I often wonder why I write here for you. I guess I hope you’ll read this, I don’t know how it’s all ended with happy thoughts and passing memories but life is good. I miss our friendship the potential we had and the life that could of been. I’m happy with just the memory of you and it does fade each day each week I get a little more of myself back and strength to be strong. The thing that I liked about you was not how you looked even though you were beautiful I like how you never expected nor asked nothing of me other then to enjoy you and I did. I could not believe that I’d met someone like you who made me feel so alive so happy so at peace with everything. All I wanted from you was for you to be happy to smile and laugh to be the confident beautiful woman that you are. I miss seeing that, I miss having you in my arms and yeah ok I guess I miss making love to you. You were special cj you still are special you always will be special and I regret leaving you behind I wanted to be your protector I guess. I guess I’m sorry, I’m happy but I’m sorry and words will never explain how I felt you just know that some things can’t be faked even if we pretended it was all fun and games, there were feelings that I can’t explain there was something there. I hope whereever you are and what ever you are doing you are safe, you are happy and you just being you. From a friend who no longer holds onto the past, but hopes for a better future.