• Make me happy

    by  • May 2, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 1 Comment

    Why is life so confusing? I write on here to get you out of my system. But no, my head and heart have other plans. I dreamt about you last night again! We were in some foreign country, I was looking at the view through a window, you grabbed me and held me like you used to, when no one was looking. All the feelings I had locked away, are now back. I keep trying to push you away Jim but you keep coming back in my head. You can’t do that, not now……not fair. I bet I don’t even enter your mind. Now you have gone back to your ‘normal’ life. I sometimes wonder if those years actually happened between us. I wish I knew what you really felt about us. I don’t think you ever told me the honest truth… You always covered up your feelings. God I miss you. What I wouldn’t give to look into those eyes of yours 🙁 . Make me happy once more please.

    Nite, nite lovely man x

    One Response to Make me happy

    1. futile
      May 2, 2014 at 10:07 am

      It can be excruciating but letting all those feelings in to process them helps in the long run. I have learned that wondering what is the “truth” or what goes on in their head is futile. Especially if they ever lied to you. You will never know. And they may never care enough to know why they did what they did so moot point. Look at the facts and maybe clarity will come to you in time. Strip away emotions and piece together actions.

      When I begin to negative self talk and obsess about things I take the focus off them and place it back to me in a positive manner. Here’s to healing.

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