My oh my have we been through quite a bit just for being friends. I cannot believe that you didn’t know I liked you..I thought it was so obvious. I remember sitting in class and you would always sit a little bit closer to me. One day, you even pulled my chair closer to you. I thought you liked me back.. Come to think of it, you told me you didn’t like me but you never told me you did either. Well, that’s me. Just keeping the hope right? But I am so glad that you decided to come back into my life. You are such a gentleman and I know the last time we went out to lunch, things were a little bit weird, but I still had a great time. I always have a nice time with you. I feel like we just connect. I feel like there’s something about you. When we went out to breakfast, and call me crazy, but I felt a bit of a spark when you noted that I’m the only person you know that cuts all their food before eating it. I felt at that moment..is this the hint? Are we meant to be? Fuck, I’m so damn crazy and weird lol but that’s totally how I felt. I could never tell you or admit this in person but damn that moment was crazy for me lol..
Another thing, when we were in the car that night you picked me up after he gave me grief, it was so wonderful. It was so cute of you to come out and hug me after too. I felt so..so safe and so cared for. I’ve felt like that with him before but with you it was just so strong. I’m scared because I feel like my feelings for him are decreasing. That’s why.. I just think it is best that we don’t talk. It hurts because I feel like we’ve been getting much closer, but I’ve already decided to be with him. Now, if you like me, tell me. Just let me know because trust me, I couldn’t be any more confused right now lol. God, I just wanna text you or call you but something is telling me not to and to just ride this out. He is a good man and so are you. I just don’t know if I’m willing to give up everything with him for you..only because I don’t know if you feel the same about me. But at the same time, I don’t wanna ask you if you like me back because then..that’s putting myself up for rejection. Rejection and embarrassment that I’m not ready for. So my solution is to stop talking to you and to let things simmer and cool down as my feelings for you dissipate. Well, they’re not really “feelings” for you. but I know that if we keep hanging out, it could develop into feelings…
(insert name here), I care about you very much. If you ever need anything, feel free to call me. I will be here for you just as you were for me because that’s what friends do.