We’ve always been “best friends” mostly though, it seems to be me being the friend and you getting what you need. I’ve always been there for you, through thick and thin, even when you made so many wrong decisions I still loved you, supported you, gave you the attention and advice you would need. You were always too busy for me though, only talked to me when you needed something, only saw me if you needed soemthing otherwise you always forgot the plans we would make. We’ve dated twice and it’s ended up in absolute chaos both times, but let me say this…I love you Mariah. I’ll always love and be in love with you. I do my best not to contact you in any way, and I only contact you at work when there is no other option. I’ll keep my love for you buried like I had done when we were just best friends, before we ever dated. Also, when everyone had left us to clean the belly on eight aluminum and I told you to take a break because I knew three weeks before you even told Ronda, I forgot to finish my sentence. You see, your face was all red and I told you to go to break, that I would finish the rest by myself. You were nice enough to say no, that you would help finish it. After repeating myself saying go to break I finally had to tell you to come closer and that’s when I told you that I knew about you being pregnant before you had even told Ronda about it. But I stopped, because memories came flooding back, you and I hate each other, at least you hate me, and I pretend to hate you. But in that brief moment I thought about you and I, and our “Berry” that you miscarried. I really wanted that baby. In that brief moment I though how I wouldn’t want you cleaning and doing all the junk we had to do to clean that belly on eight aluminum if it was still Berry you were carrying. Tears started to form in my eyes, I think you noticed because you finally gave in and said you would go to break. I know you talk bad about me at work, your closest friends tell me. Ronda tells me. It might not mean anything to you, but whomever keeps saying I’m spreading rumors about you and Seth are liars. I don’t speak badly about either of you, nor bring you two up. You may keep talking bad about me, and keep bringing me up even though we’ve been broken up since October, but know this: I love you and I’m in love with you. You told me you were glad you miscarried our child, but if you love Seth and want to be with him and have his baby then take care of your body and don’t overwork yourself like you did the other day. I kept your pregnancy secret safe because I’m not the one spreading rumors or talking bad about you, your business is exactly that. Because I love you, and respect you it is none of my business to be telling people and I hope you see now that what people at work tell you are just lies that they feed you to fuel the drama. Anyhow…I just wanted to explain why I had told you to go to break and why I mentioned to you at work that I already knew you were pregnant. Because I still care and always will. I’ll keep my love for you a secret, along with you being pregnant until you decide to let the world know you and Seth are having a baby.
– Whatever nickname or name you have for me nowadays (Jimmy)