• Why Can’t you be happy?

    by  • April 28, 2014 • Anger • 4 Comments

    You have ruined me. I am incapable; I cannot adjust myself to social situations, I cannot simply ask someone to leave because of you. I am afraid to ask to do something else, something with more structure. I cannot be as bold as I once was because of you….

    I was too polite. You would own my house proudly, while I hid in my dark shell, You would tell me “It’s fine just say and I will go” But when I asked you, a whole war would wage, you were so abusive, so mean, and the day I finally decide to tell you after all the hurt, after you using me;
    To wash your clothes
    To get a shower
    To dry your clothes
    To borrow money
    To feed you
    To use my internet…..After all as you said “It’s just what friends do” but we were past friends at that point. You cannot expect me to be happy when you go against simple human instinct. My mother was sick, lying in her bed, neither of us had money, she was in debt (-637), and you told me, she had spoke with you earlier and you could borrow that £50 to “sort yourself out” YOU LIED, YOU PHYSICALLY STOLE FROM MY MOTHER BY USING ME. That is disgusting, what kind of human being does that!?!?! What kind of sick twisted…I can’t even.
    Yet we still would meet up, and talk about things.
    The thing that gets me most is how violent you can be, how scary, yet you don’t realize, and now, with your new “friends” you paint me out to be some villain, cast down like Lucifer by your word. How am I the bad guy? Why do I care so much? I care because unlike you, every word lingers. When I met up with you to be the better person, I saw what you had wrote to them, you had made me out to be the biggest cunt. Fuck you. I came to make amends for feeling horrible about cutting you from my life, but nah, you had to make it all about you, poor old you. “Nobody likes me” You’re damn fucking right. “You’re too nice to me” You’re damn fucking right I am. I should have listened to the other family when they told me you were bad news! You don’t deserve the beautiful things in life. You don’t deserve your love, your family, your material things. Let us just remember, you, you drove me to this and no matter how bad you paint me, how disgusting you make my features, how lazy you make my body, just know, that your dark soul, your ever wrenching pain in someones head drove them to this. It is indefinitely your fault, and always will be.

    and that Ladies and Gentlemen is why I cannot be happy. Bad things always happen to good people and good things happen to bad people.

    I hope one day you crack your mask, and show them what a real monster you are.

    4 Responses to Why Can’t you be happy?

    1. blame
      April 29, 2014 at 8:12 am

      If you are merely venting frustration I understand. If you are truely saying you are messed up and it’s entirely their fault I have a question. Did they force you at gunpoint to do anything you chose to do? Or is it possibly hurt and self loathing because of your choices and they just happen to be an asshole too? I am only asking because I have blamed. But healing can be speedier when realizing one’s own faults. It doesn’t mean you have to forgive them or anything. It’s for healing yourself. Also, were your reasons for helping them completely selfless on your part? Because I would think if it was you wouldn’t seem so upset. I hope you feel better soon.

    2. Robin to Bruce
      April 29, 2014 at 8:53 pm

      Lesson #3: ‘You’re too nice to me’ is a deal killer phrase.

      If you ever hear it again, you gotta walk, man. I don’t care how attractive, how sweet (they seem)
      how good anything is…the deal is over.

      This is often uttered about 6-8 weeks before they act so insensitive, that you finally blow up at them and end it.

      That’s what they were gunning for anyway, which of course is Rule # 6.

    3. caleb
      May 1, 2014 at 9:10 am

      i feel that you give them too much, clearly you have been taken advantage of friend. @Blame, this person is clearly an ahole, they stole from his sick mom!!!!! girls can be so horrible, they just use and abuse, I have been there…. know that someday a vision of beauty will come along, she will not judge you, she will only love you, you will not feel the rage you once felt, you will arise from the ashes, and that other women will be the ashes…so beneath you 🙂
      may the lord watch over you brother

    4. From Mary to Joseph
      May 1, 2014 at 9:16 am

      My sweet cherub, know there are people you can talk to, there is light and there is hope, I once was in an abusive relationship too, I have come out of it stronger an wiser, I’m here for you.

      Gentle Jesus, shepherd of peace,
      join to your own suffering
      the pain of all who have been hurt
      in body, mind, and spirit
      by those who betrayed the trust placed in them.

      Hear our cries as we agonize
      over the harm done to our brothers and sisters.
      Breathe wisdom into our prayers,
      soothe restless hearts with hope,
      steady shaken spirits with faith:
      Show us the way to justice and wholeness,
      enlightened by truth and enfolded in your mercy.

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