• Almost lost my heart

    by  • April 28, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 1 Comment

    I was so mad at you. I’m still mad at you. I may always be mad at you.

    You really have done a number on me, my self esteem, my self worth. You behave so badly sometimes. People wonder why I stay with you, sometimes I wonder the same thing.

    But that week told me one thing. I still love you a great deal. Whether I want to, or not.

    You were in pain, I know your threshold isn’t so high, so at first I wasn’t overly concerned, but you were in pain for hours, and when I saw you curled up in the fetal position and nearly in tears, well. I was pretty worried, I called us a cab and took you to the hospital.

    It was awful. I stayed calm, and told you it was probably nothing, but really, I was losing it. It took so long for them to get to you. I was getting extremely pissed off. You were covered in a sheen of sweat and your eyes were dark and bloodshot.

    That first night I didn’t sleep, I just sat in the chair next to your bed and watched you. You were hooked up to the IV with antibiotics and painkillers pumping into you. I just sat there and gently rubbed your feet while you came in and out of consciousness.

    I stayed calm the whole time we were there, I didn’t want you to be any more worried than you were already, but inside I was a mess. No matter how angry, no matter how hurt, I didn’t want that for you.

    They took you into surgery finally, and before you went in I was holding your hand and telling you I’d be just there when you got out, gave you a hug and kiss and watched them wheel you away.

    It was only supposed to take 45min. an hour maybe.

    They had you for a little over 2 hours before the doctor finally came out and told me they were finished. It was really bad, and you were filled with poison. It took them a long time to clean you out. He told me you were in recovery and they would call me when you came to.

    I sat there and stared at the phone. It was another hour before they called me in.

    I still held back any and all reaction.

    It wasn’t until we got home that I laid in bed and cried. Wow did I cry.

    As much as I hate you sometimes, and I do, I love you more than anything.

    Listen, dickhead, I won’t tell you any of this because I don’t want it to go to your head, but you are absolutely my heart, and one cannot live without their heart.

    So don’t let this happen again, OK? OK.

    One Response to Almost lost my heart

    1. Thank God
      October 9, 2014 at 4:23 pm

      they were ok. Thats really scary, but its good they had someone who cared there to help.

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