When I drive I picture myself, for a second, driving into the oncoming lane. No hesitation. No after thoughts of the consequences.
I pray that the darkness inside is temporary.
How could I explain to someone the thoughts that run through my mind every day? I feel like I am screaming underwater and there is no relief. I am static, watching everyone around me moving on with their lives. I am stuck in the past and afraid of the future. I hold onto the memories and I don’t have the energy to make new ones.
I want to help others because I can not help myself. I will be dedicating my life to heal their wounds, care for them and make life easier. When the only thing I want in this life time is for someone to help me out.
I hurt you very badly. The one person who knew how to make the thoughts in my mind disappear. Who would tell me that things would be okay. I don’t have any excuses for what I didn’t do. I will regret my decision for the rest of my life.