I waited for you a longtime. I am still not sure what to call this. This thing that has disrupted my life a little. I would’ve said our lives but I have no clue if it has bothered you at all. I stand constantly in a place of untrust. I really want to trust you. Know that I really did. I am telling you . Life is so unfair and it’s even worst when. Things are unclear . When things are left unsaid. Like I wanted to not be a fool for believing in you. Was I a game? Am I not human? Or do you not care? My anguish state does it bring you some type of pleasure? You changed my world and I am tired of crying over it. I hope one day when the weight of everything connects and hit you . I hope you can breathe and live again . Just know by then I will not care anymore. So don’t bother looking for me.