I miss you. It’s taken me awhile to come to this conclusion. To realize I am hurting for you. I’ve been filling my time and my bed with distractions. Keeping my mind from wondering to you. But today you hit me. I remembered you so unexpectedly, and it all came back. And suddenly nothing seems more satisfying than the idea of your arms wrapped around me. Of your hands all over me. Of your lips moving to produce sweet nothings. All I can think of is how I hurt you. I’m so scared for you, I want you to be okay. I want to make sure you’re okay. But if I’m honest with myself long enough, I know you aren’t okay. I know that you are completely broken. I know that I did that to you. I think that’s what scares me the most. I don’t want to be your destruction. I just couldn’t be our savior. Again. I knew from the beginning of our new chapter that it wasn’t right. I should’ve let you move on. I should’ve let you be happy. But I couldn’t. Because I couldn’t bear the thought of you with someone else. Because you are mine. You have always been mine. But I’m not yours. Maybe I am, I don’t know anymore. All I know right now, at this moment, is that my gut in restless. I’m yearning for you. For someone I shouldn’t have. I think I’ll always yearn for you though. If I listen close enough, I can hear myself thinking about you. Wanting to talk to you, to listen to you talk. To hold your hand, and kiss your lips. To fight with you, and cry over you. I’ll always wish that we could’ve been perfect. I’ll always wish things couldv’e been different. I love you. But I hate the person I am with you. I can’t be that person anymore, it breaks my heart. But you, my heart, my soul. You shouldn’t break because of this. I wish I could stop you from breaking. I want to heal all your wounds and still leave you alone. I want to nurse you back to health using someone else’s hands. I want you to find someone to make you happy. I want you to fall in love with her so much that you can’t feel my heartbeat anymore. I want you to let me go. But I’m terrified of what that will mean. Of you truly being gone. I have to give you away, but even at this distance, I still feel like your mine. But I’m not yours. And I haven’t been yours. I know you’d take me back anyway, but I can’t do that. I love you too much to do this again. I’m sending you love, my soul. Take it. Take all of this healing energy. Breathe it in, let it destroy the pain. Let it heal your wounds and leave no scars. Let it lead you to happiness. Out of the dark. I can’t be happy until I know you are. I can’t move on, truly, until I know you’re okay. Send me a sign. Please.