• I am Not Her

    by  • April 22, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Dating • 0 Comments

    My boyfriend and I met in the freshman dorms the first few days of college and he broke up with his ex (not for me, they had been having problems for months) two weeks into the year and we began dating two weeks later. We’ve been dating nearly six months. Yet he still acts like we’re not serious? His Facebook says he’s SINGLE. While I don’t want us to be Facebook official, it does bother me that he says he’s single. In the beginning it was more understandable, like, okay it’s been two weeks since you broke up with your girlfriend of almost three years, and at first he didn’t want her knowing I exist, but then she found out about two months. Okay so now she knows, which means other people can know, right? Apparently that’s not the case. He still can’t admit to people that he’s moved on. YOU WEREN’T MARRIED OKAY it was a high school relationship and most high school relationships don’t work out. What did you expect? Yeah at one point you did think you would spend the rest of your life with this girl. But she turned out to not be the right girl for you. Why are you so hesitant to get more serious with me? What about me is holding you back? What will it take for you to be fully engaged in this relationship? Why am I put on the back-burner? “I’m going out with the guys. I’m playing video games. You’re going to bed? Wait an hour for me to finish my video games and then I’ll join you. Mom first. Gym first. School first.” When was the last time we went on a date? It’s been almost six months and you STILL CAN’T TELL ME YOU LOVE ME? I know you do. Everyone knows you do. You’re so sweet, so why won’t you say it? What will it take? You act like I’m the perfect girl for you, but there’s always something more important and at the same time there is not “I love you”, rarely introducing me to your friends, no evidence of my mere existence on your social media, and I haven’t even met your lovely mother yet. I get that you were close with her, but really, mom? Your son has been in a happy relationship for six months and you don’t want to meet the girl because you’re afraid of getting close and having it not work out again? Of course I can’t get as close with you as she did because this isn’t high school. We live three hours away. It’s simply not possible for me to spend as much time with you as she did but can you at least give me a chance to show you I’m a good person and I care about your son more than anything and I care about being even a small part of your family? You spent major holidays with her and even took her to Mexico with you, twice. You also hung out with her, like a lot. Will I ever be a part of your family? Will we have to become freaking engaged for you to accept me as his? Will you even accept me then? I have never had issues with moms liking me before. In fact they all loved me. You seem like such a nice and loving lady from what I hear, and then you refuse to meet me. It just hurts. I know in your culture divorce has a stigma and is a really big deal. But your son didn’t divorce. He wasn’t married. It was his first high school relationship! Please just give me a chance. I feel like our relationship can’t go much further from here if we don’t make some changes. We’ll just forever be the couple that doesn’t go on dates, doesn’t say I love you, and doesn’t grow with each other’s families. This is the first time I’ve actually seen potential in a relationship but how can there be potential when one party refuses to advance the relationship? I don’t know how I can even talk with him about this.

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