• Dear Mom and Dad,

    by  • April 22, 2014 • Family Stuff • 1 Comment

    Dear Mom and Dad,

    No I am not mad at you for getting a divorce. I’m 23 years old and I’ve known this day was coming since one morning when I was 13. Do either of you remember the day I’m talking about? It was a cold snowy morning. It was a school day, and I was waiting for Dad to get home from work to take me to school. Dad you pulled in the driveway, and then came inside to make sure I was ready. I don’t know what started the fight, but all of a sudden you two were screaming at the top of your lungs. Dad you told me to wait in the car, but I couldn’t move once I got outside. I just stood by the car listening to you two scream inside. I couldn’t focus at all during school that day. I had to go talk to the guidance counselor or somebody I don’t remember who, and all I could do was worry and try not to cry. From that day on you two tried to keep the family close, but you knew that the marriage was dead and so did I. I’m sure I probably knew before then, but that day sealed it in my mind. The only reason you two waited this long was because brother three of three is graduating next month. You should have waited until after to announce this decision, but you didn’t, and now I have to be in the middle of this shit trying to keep any family ties together. Anyways, that’s not why I’m upset at you two. I’m upset at both of you, but for different reasons. Dad, you just had to tell me you were seeing someone else. That’s not the first reason I’m upset with you, that’s just the biggest. First off, how dare you tell me two weeks before Christmas that you are going to tell mom you are going to file for divorce. Why in the hell tell your oldest son about your plans at all? Just simply file for divorce and tell me after. That’s not what you did though was it? So I had to sit here three hours from home for two weeks knowing that I had to pretend everything was ok the week I was home for Christmas. Then while I was home you threw the giant curve ball that nearly knocked me off my feet. You were seeing someone. The fact that you were seeing someone didn’t upset me. It wasn’t a reaction of a little boy. I wasn’t upset that daddy wasn’t with mommy. It was the fact that you didn’t even have divorce papers filed yet. There was no ink to be dry and you were with someone else. Then you had the nerve to ask me if I wanted to meet her. Hell no I don’t want to meet her. Here I am trying to make sure my younger brothers are ok and you want me to me some chick you found? No way in hell. If you had met her sometime after everything was finalized I would have met her in a heartbeat. I would have been happy you were finding some joy. That’s not what happened, you found someone online while you were in the same house as your wife. Now I know damn well the divorce was going to happen. I knew this was inevitable, and that you had been miserable for years, but show some respect. I love you no matter what, but you have been an ass since this whole process started. Now mother dearest. You have a lot of growing up to do. I understand how difficult it was raising three children. I understand the added difficulty in the raising of two children with certain disabilities. I also understand that the four men in the house did not help out enough. I was never home, dad was never home, and the boys were boys. You have every right to be upset that the house was always a total mess, and that we didn’t do enough at home. That being said though you are no fucking saint. Some of your decisions over the years, and your fucking stubbornness have not made lives easier. First off, go ahead and be mad at dad for not helping around the house, but know that since you weren’t always working there wouldn’t be a fucking house to help around in if it wasn’t for his income. Now I respect you greatly for deciding to go back to school and get your 4 year degree. That being said, you did this at a time when things were at their tightest financially, and you got a fucking degree in a subject with hardly any jobs in the area. You successfully went back to school, and have a degree and have not done one fucking thing with it. You were offered a very nice job at the college right after graduation. It wasn’t a job in your field, but it was perfect for starting out and making some money. You didn’t take it though, because you don’t like cubicles. I don’t like cubicles either, but starting out the money would have solved so many of our financial problems. Also, I get that you want to be free and go out and do things and explore, but you can’t afford it and you have a family that comes first. I’m not saying you don’t deserve a vacation, but you can’t have a traveling lifestyle. You decided to get married and be a mom, so don’t live your life trying to make up for past mistakes. Let the past go. You have let go of some things from your twenties, but you haven’t let go of your immaturity. Now mom and dad, both of you have reasons for being mad at the other. Years of built up anger and frustration will soon be over, but you both have things to work on for this family. Dad you will have to work in order to keep a relationship with my brothers. They are not happy with your decisions of late. It’s not the divorce, it’s what’s going on outside of it. You will also have to eventually stop trying to be my friend, and start being my Dad. Mom, you are going to have to grow up, and this is when you are going to have to do it. You are no longer going to be able to depend on Dad for financial stability. You are one of the lucky people in this world with a degree. You worked hard and achieved something I hope one day I will have. Now is the time to stop doing what you want to do, and starting doing what you need to do. I love you both, no matter what. I just hope you love yourselves, and start becoming who you were meant to be, if you aren’t already them.

    One Response to Dear Mom and Dad,

    1. respect
      April 23, 2014 at 4:37 am

      That’s a mature letter. You sound like a parent for your parents. Taking responsibility for your own parents is a hard job. Most people will experience that much later in life than you do now. If any advice is appreciated I would say: Don’t forget yourself and do something for yourself too. Your parents will learn to live with the new situation. Your life is important too.

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