• Lingering feelings

    by  • April 19, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Confession • 0 Comments

    I met you when I was 12 and you were 13. 7th grade. By 8th we were the best of friends. We talked about everything. I was so shy and introverted, but you could bring me right out of that shell. And by the time we got to high school, I had fallen for you completely. I know you had fallen for me too, even though it may not have been as deep as my affection. We talked about how perfect we were for one another, told each other we loved each other, talked about losing our virginity together, and made a promise that if we were single when we were 27 we would marry and live the life we both wanted. You dedicated “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith to me after we cuddled and watched “Armageddon” together. You dedicated me various songs by a band we both found out we loved. We lived so close, I saw you all the time. My mom loved you. You introduced me to your mom, dad, brother, and sisters. We were perfect for each other, but something always got in the way. And the one time you really tried to make it happen, I got too scared to lose you and ran. Something I have always regretted. You were still always there for me, but you stopped trying as much and fearing I had lost you, I did too. We started dating other people, but you were still always there for me. You still kept in contact with me. You still always reminded me that I was beautiful, that I was of great worth. And when we both broke up with the people we were dating we rekindled that bond, we talked about everything again. Flirted. Like the feelings never left. I guess for me they never truly did. You were always in the back of my mind and I think it was the same for you. And we got back with those people and still talked all the time. Until our others got jealous.. we didn’t keep in touch as much and things weren’t nearly the same. It’s been a year. I moved to another state. And here we are talking again, like nothing ever happened, like we never stopped.. and things may not be exactly the same, and we may both be dating other people still, but I know something is still here, even though neither of us will admit it. No guy has ever treated me as good as you. No guy has ever understood and shared my passions like you. And you always used to tell me we were soul mates, that you were going to be the one to marry me. And then you tell me you are moving to the very state I moved to, only about 20 minutes away.. as if that helps our situation. You tell me you want to see me and take me to do things and I want to see you. I miss you. Thinking about it makes my heart race.. you make my heart race. Even still. Could this be fate? Here I am 19, and you 20 and we’re still the same old fools for each other. My heart is so confused. I’ve never had feelings linger this long. I seriously think I would drop my current relationship for you if you wanted me too..

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