• Stop screwing up

    by  • April 17, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Knock it Off • 0 Comments

    Matt,
    For once, take the advice of someone who’s comfortable committing to a decision and following through on it: do not friend me again on facebook. Your “on again” “off again” there is tiresome and childish. I will not accept your request again. You are not my friend.

    Here’s the deal:
    You do bad things to good people for no reason beyond selfishness. You lament the bad things you do, but don’t want other people to call you on it. You push away the truth dropped in your lap because you don’t like it. Most people will, over time, leave you alone to rot in your “absolutions”. There is no one on earth who HAS to have anything to do with you except me. I envy those people. They have the luxury of getting rid of you. I do not. There is no other person on earth who needs you to stop being a train wreck and start being a decent human being more than me. So maybe you should start paying closer attention to what I have to say, because in the end, I only have my daughter’s best interest in mind. If you refuse to shape up for your own sake, do it for hers. Or for fucks sake, ship out and leave us alone.

    As it stands, I have to teach MY daughter how to AVOID people like you. At the same time I have to teach her that she’s not a product of her father’s mistakes and she doesn’t have to be like him. Until you’re more than a check and a sporadic tv show you can take your “OUR daughter” and store it in that same hole you crawl in when you mess up. You fathered a child, but she is MY daughter. I raise her.

    With every waking breath, we create the legacy she takes with her from us. I’m teaching her perseverance. Coping mechanisms. Hope. Sometimes it sucks. What are you going to do about it? Wallow or fight? Feel your hurts, but don’t be ruled by them.

    How about you? What are you to your child right now? What are you leaving behind? When it gets hard, cheat? When you’re feeling down, self destruct? If it’s not how you want it, lash out and hurt other people? When you mess up, have people tell you that you’re not so bad? When confronted with truth, hide? I have shielded us from you from years, but you wouldn’t have it. You had to be involved. Well, this is what involved looks like. I protect her from you, I have to build a bigger and bigger wall between your destructive tendencies and her childhood. You aren’t supposed to make my job harder. I will let you know when you’re doing it. i will keep you posted on how to be a better father by being a better person.

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