• Remind you of anyone?

    by  • April 11, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Betrayal • 2 Comments

    Well, yes it does, Craig!

    Why won’t my Ex narcissist girlfriend give me closure?

    Because giving CLOSURE is tantamount to giving up CONTROL.
    CLOSURE involves wrapping things up in a nice little bow
    and agreeing that it’s OVER as a “couple” as “two people”
    who each have needs to wrap up the last piece of
    “coupledom” they shared: their break up.

    This shows how ONE SIDED the narcissist is towards the
    relationship ENTIRELY. The narcissist thinks that since
    THEY’RE FINE with discarding you and acting as if you never
    existed, that certainly YOU’d have no problem with it,
    because, well…YOU DON’T EXIST.

    When a narcissist is done using you, especially if you made
    a lot of trouble for them, you know, by standing up for
    your rights, or sharing your feelings, or God Forbid,
    confronting them or exposing their secret. Well you’ve done
    the UNTHINKABLE! No, it doesnt compare to the abuse done to
    you, or the smear campaigning or destroying your heart and
    life – but in their minds, they did none of that! You are
    the sole perpetrator – how DARE you think YOU DESERVE

    It’s a sad truth, that we can expect NOTHING from a person
    who PRETENDS TO LOVE us, gets us to put ourselves in a
    position to give them our true love, all the while tricking
    us, setting us up and then stabbing us in the back with a
    smile on their face.

    But it’s the truth nonetheless. We can expect NOTHING from
    a narcissist. No decency. No understanding. No true
    apology. No true amends. and Ultimately NO CLOSURE.
    This relationship requires that we gain our own closure. We
    give ourselves the answers and know that if a narcissist
    wanted to speak up to involve themselves in the ending,
    they would have already.

    But part of our gaining closure is
    gaining knowledge about the disorder, which tells us
    unequivocally that NARCISSISTS WON’T ALLOW CLOSURE – they
    won’t give up that CONTROL. If a narcissist were healthy
    enough to provide some sort of “joint” closure, then we
    probably wouldn’t be leaving the relationship in the first

    2 Responses to Remind you of anyone?

    1. krissy
      April 11, 2014 at 11:48 am

      I appreciate this.

    2. Anne
      May 2, 2014 at 2:26 am

      I wan closure so badly, but I know he’s a narci so it’s moot to ask or even wait for him to grow balls. Instead he liked to lie and hide and talk behind my back to my “friends”. Good riddance. No one deserves to be treated that way. I hope he falls into a pit of fire ants, snakes and spiders.

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