• Wish I could tell you …

    by  • April 9, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Love - Pure and Simple • 9 Comments

    Dear R – I’m sorry to be cryptic but how many different ways can I let you know. I’ll never be able to bring myself to say it I know that (and in reality I know it won’t change anything, but I just want you to know how I feel … and I guess I want to know if you feel the same).
    I know you used to come to this site so this is a shot in the dark. If you do see this letter and you feel the same then star this song on Spotify. Nobody else will know what it means if you star it, but if you do I will let you know I’ve seen it …

    How long will I love you?
    As long as stars are above you
    And longer, if I can.
    How long will I need you?
    As long as the seasons need to
    Follow their plan.

    How long will I be with you?
    As long as the sea is bound to
    Wash upon the sand.

    How long will I want you?
    As long as you want me to
    And longer by far.
    How long will I hold you?
    As long as your father told you,
    As long as you can.

    How long will I give to you?
    As long as I live through you
    However long you say.

    How long will I love you?
    As long as stars are above you
    And longer, if I may.

    We’re all traveling through time together
    Every day of our lives.
    All we can do is do our best
    To relish this remarkable ride.

    9 Responses to Wish I could tell you …

    1. e
      April 9, 2014 at 4:48 pm


    2. anonymoys
      April 9, 2014 at 8:12 pm

      This letter is not for me but i encourage you to send it to r whoever that person is. Its so mushy but genuine. Sincere.just dont expect anything send it r needs to know this.

    3. I will Bite
      April 10, 2014 at 4:39 am

      Dear Author,

      I am an ‘R’. I use this site for release, not necessarily for communication with my person as I’d really prefer to reach out in the real world, in a way where there is no chance of miscommunication or misunderstanding. But I will bite. I don’t have m/any options anymore. A miracle would be great. Something about your choice of song also screams out ‘miracle’ as it has a special significance for me (something that my person won’t know).

      Author, I hope you read this and if you can see that I’m not your person, please let me know. False hope takes its toll. Honestly, I know the chances are slim to none. Also, you know, this site being for release, I don’t think I have given much clues as to my identity. May I ask how you know I am here? I have never given initials.

      Also, if after reading this, you believe there is a possibility that I am your person, please let’s hold the spotify thing for a bit. I don’t mean to make things hard for you, but I would prefer something direct and honest with little chance of misunderstanding (or trolling). Yes, that’s possible here with this letter without necessarily compromising our anonymity to the general public. In fact, here, it seems that we both can be honest with our feelings. But let’s first establish with greater probability that our person is here. If this is you, please trust me. My worry with spotify is that I don’t have an account and don’t know (yet) how it works. Would there be a way for you to miss my star?

      First of all, if you are my person, I feel the same way. I love you with a love that is intense and constant, just as in the song. You do not have to doubt that. I know that we have a problem with communication. I don’t expect you to tell me. It is a weird situation we are in. I will tell you, if you give me the chance.

      If you are my person, I just want to share with you a bit of perspective on how I view things right now. It is a ‘she loves me, she loves me not’ kind of thing. The signals are mixed from my viewpoint. (I’m not trying to put blame, I just want to explain myself.) This makes me hesitate. You see, if you are my person, you give hints that you feel the same way. But, when I try to reach out to you directly, the way you react makes me think otherwise. In fact, the intensity of my feelings, our current circumstances, plus your reaction whenever I reach out, makes me feel like a creep who is bothering you. Your hints can be taken to be something intended for somebody else or just innocent little nothings. I don’t want to bother you if you don’t feel the same way. It takes two to tango after all. Please understand, sometimes I feel that my interpretation of the signals you give are just wishful thinking on my end. I do feel for you that extremely. But, why do you react that way whenever I reach out? I don’t have any explanation on why you would do that other than you are not interested or angry at me or creeped out. In fact, it hurts. It also makes me question my sanity.

      Anyway, Author, if after reading this, you still feel that I am your person; would you be willing to try a little experiment here? If you can also clarify some of the questions I have, that would be great.

      If I am not, Author, please let me know and thank you for letting me pour out a bit of emotion.

      Also, what do you mean by “it won’t change anything”?

    4. Author
      April 17, 2014 at 4:13 am

      Dear R. I think it highly unlikely you are the person this letter was written to. If you were that person then the reason I know he used to come on this site is that he sent me a link to a LINS letter, which is how I found out about this site. That will probably answer your question in one as to whether we are talking to the right people. To be honest I don’t even know why I posted this letter in the first place. I’m not one for game playing and have always prided myself on being fairly direct and upfront. But for whatever reason im just not brave enough to face up to this situation and ask for answers, mainly as I don’t want to lose what we have but also just because I can’t handle the rejection that I feel would likely come in the form of “I like you and it’s fun, but … ‘
      My life as it is is slowly falling to bits and I’m just not really coping with it very well. I can’t fall back on what I have with R though as in reality it probably wouldn’t work out even if he did love me too. I just don’t understand how he is the way he is when we are together and then seems so cold and uncaring when I try to communicate via messages/texts. I just end up getting angry at him, yet I know that won’t solve anything.
      The irony is though I’ve never felt so strongly about someone and felt such a massive physical connection. It’s hard to take on board that the feelings aren’t reciprocated, maybe in these circumstances ignorance is bliss 🙁
      Life is so complicated sometimes, all the best with your situation I hope you find some answers

    5. Author
      April 17, 2014 at 2:15 pm

      I forgot to answer what I meant by “it won’t change anything” … I guess I mean that I’m not sure why it’s so important I know whether he actually loves me or not, because it wouldn’t necessarily mean we could ever be together properly … I don’t think? I still feel like I need to know, maybe just for my own sanity. I don’t know whether it’s me that is the mess or just the situation. Like you though I keep hoping for some miraculous answer! Have you ever been held by someone and felt like the only way you could possibly feel as close as you need to be would be to almost melt together and be one person. That probably sounds insane! But it’s how I felt when I was with him the other day

    6. I will Bite
      April 20, 2014 at 7:15 am

      “I don’t know whether it’s me that is the mess or just the situation.”

      I can relate. For me, it is perhaps that I can’t help be a mess because of the situation. I felt foolish myself while typing my initial reply to your post. I guess that’s how you know you really like/love someone. They can bring you(me) to the point of crazy. The intensity of every feeling is magnified a thousand times the usual, both the good and the bad. Never in my life did I imagine myself writing out cheesy lines on an anonymous website. This whole thing really touches me to the core.

      Anyway, thank you for the reply. I wish you the best.

    7. @I will bite
      April 21, 2014 at 12:10 am

      Just out of interest I assume that what I wrote convinced you that we aren’t the ‘right people’. The reason I said I doubted you are the right R is only the million to one nature of this site. Communication skills aren’t my strong point (well not in my personal life anyway I’m a lost cause!), but I would give anything to know how he really feels so I guess I’m desperate enough to try anything. This site does get the better of us I know that and I never imagined being somewhere like this either, but you were right initially that it is easier to communicate somewhere like this. I just wanted to try to make doubly sure that by some miracle we aren’t missing a chance here … I am prepared to clarify more if that would help? My main problem is that ‘real life’ the communication between me and my person seems to be getting harder and harder. I love him and miss him every day we are out of contact. If you are sure from my reply I’m not the person you want to talk to could you let me know please? I feel like I’m going stir crazy here, but desperation turns you that way doesn’t it and I’m so scared of putting anything even remotely personal in a FB message to him these days as he seems to ignore it all, I don’t understand why he seems to have gone so cold on me 🙁 I’m sorry to bother you, but there are aspects of your words which fit my situation so well it is playing on my mind and the language you use is very similar to his too.

    8. I will Bite
      April 21, 2014 at 5:54 pm

      Hi Author, I’m sure now it’s not me. I did not send my person a link here. I know how it feels though, everything you said in your last message. Maybe at this point in time, I can relate more to you rather than your person. To communicate how I really feel candidly without holding back is very difficult for me. I try anything just to communicate and my person does not respond well to that. To try to fathom how my person feels about all this is impossible which makes me hesitate even more. I’m dizzy trying to figure all this out. I feel confused and stuck. I feel sometimes like my person feels the same way about me, but anything I do to make it happen does not work out. In fact, the way they react to any of my advances (not physical) tells me otherwise. I just don’t know what to think anymore or what to do about it. But I feel like I have to do something about it soon or I’m just going to burst.

      I’m trying to figure out what’s stopping me from just letting it all out in a message, an email or anything, all that cheesy, mushy stuff, no holding back.

      I hope it all works out for you, Author. Good luck.

    9. @I will bite
      April 21, 2014 at 8:30 pm

      Hi thanks so much for your reply. It does sound such a similar situation it’s spooky. In some strange way reassuring I guess too to connect with somebody feeling the same way 🙂
      I also try to figure out what’s stopping me from just being honest and telling him everything. Talking to you certainly has made me think more about doing this honestly and candidly. Probably the problem is just a massive case of self preservation in it’s most basic form!
      I wish you all the best.

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