• Got it

    by  • April 6, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 3 Comments

    The fact that you could tell me to hold onto you for a year, tell me you were glad I loved you through this depression, and then overnight, because I “lost” it after so much uncertainty and was waiting for something that may not even exist–you sabotaged this on purpose. Did it make you feel less guilty to deny everything you ever said the past year? To make me look like some stalker? To scream in my face “I don’t want you.” If someone on the outside were watching this unfold in my living room they would have thought I had stalked you for six months and you couldn’t get rid of me…not that you told me for a year that you were glad I loved you and didn’t want to ever lose us. . . you just took it all away, like you never said it, and I was the one who was crazy.
    The fact that you can do that to me, depressed or not, is enough reason to never let you hurt me again.
    Pretty shitty. And I am indeed the fool.

    3 Responses to Got it

    1. no
      April 6, 2014 at 10:54 pm

      They are the “fool”. Especially if depression is present. It’s crazymaking cowardice. It’s failure to accept responsibility. I’ve learned that once someone can switch gears like that so dramatically in regard to love, they have issues with consistency. It will always make you feel insecure, distrustful and resentful. I hope things get better for you.

    2. anonymoys
      April 7, 2014 at 2:32 am

      When you sincerely love someone you dont complaint whether they return your feelings for them or not. I have learn the art of loving people i can never have in silence. It makes me so sad and happy all at the same time. Sad because i know i can never have them. But happy because i know i have let go for a good cause n i always wish the best for them, in silence. Maybe you can do that too.so you wont get so disappointed.

    3. author
      April 13, 2014 at 12:59 am

      No–thanks for your note. Very true and very well said. Best to you as well.

      “Anonymoys”—(which is not even a word)….: ) …I can complain. I spent three years with him–the final year with him sick and telling me to “hold on, he didnt want to lose me, etc” and he did nothing. My paragraph letter to him is not enough information for you to make a “call” on my situation. Of course I wish the best for him–but if the words one speaks dont equate to their actions after several years–ever–yes, I damn sure will complain. That’s why this page exists–it’s thoughts I WOULD NOT send…duh!
      But thanks anyway. : )

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