• Broken

    by  • April 5, 2014 • * Safe for Work *, Lost Love • 4 Comments

    It breaks my soul to even look at abortion as an option, to look at it as nessicary is even more heart shattering. I ruined everything. I destroyed our love therefore destroying our unborn child. I carry with me an unimaginable guilt. I would not wish the way I feel on my worst enemy. I wish I could fix everything. Help rebuild what we had in the beginning, in the sunshine. We were once so happy-so in love. You rubbed my belly with tears in your eyes and the purest smile on your face. Our warmth was contagious and quite the rarity in today’s broken world. But now I sleep on the floor and you in bed. Now, we walk silently. Now we’re strangers awkwardly preoccupying the same space.

    Limbo is the worst place.

    4 Responses to Broken

    1. tricia
      April 5, 2014 at 11:25 am

      first off ask God for forgiveness ( if you haven’t already) he will give you the strength to forgive yourself. i was close to having a abortion, prayed about it and heard nothing, it ate me up inside to be prolife and catholic, the day of my appt i went in.. the lady said if you’re having second thoughts come back when you are ready, i said to her no, its against my religion i can’t do it. so i walked out with a sense of peace i never felt before that overcame me.. that day was cold, dark gray clouds filled the sky, when i looked up walking back to my car i saw a break in the clouds of blue sky and a still voice in my head said, ” And the Heavens opened up.” i had never heard that before so i typed up and in fact it is in the bible when God descended… i wondered why God allowed me to endure that kind of pain and such a heavy burden to place on fragile shoulders, i came to the conclusion my faith was tested. i went ahead and did adoption to a Godly devoted family who would give the baby a wonderful upbringing who loved the Lord. my point is, i understand the pain of reaching that point and even though i did not follow through with it, God (like for myself) will guide you through , lift that burden onto his strong shoulders and never leave you even when he doesn’t seem near to you he is. and he will forgive you!! God bless

    2. c
      April 5, 2014 at 6:11 pm

      The previous poster is right…God will forgive. However if you have not ended the life yet please please respond here. I know people who can help. Someone who will take the baby. Please respond.

    3. @Author
      April 5, 2014 at 7:33 pm

      I feel your pain, and I want you to know it can get better. Find your inner strength and learn from the experience and grow from it. Best wishes.

    4. britney
      April 8, 2014 at 12:04 am

      People do many things for many reasons. Some of which they down the road feel were handled wrong. People are not perfect. They never will be. Im sorry you are hurting. Big huge hug to you.

      The best action now is understanding yourself. Your thoughts. Your beliefs. Your behavior. Connect it together to learn from yourself.

      Whether you want to see it or not. You already have been forgiven. Best thing you can do is have the understanding to make your talk with God go easier.

      Maybe your behavior will make you teach others in your shoes different ways to cope. Who knows. But it is known that the best teacher is one with experience. Always easier to relate.

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