I have always wanted to be the type of person who can just accept things simply at face value. No matter the underlying reason. The type of person with strict boundaries and impenetrable self-esteem.
The older I got, the more interesting characters I met. It’s crazy how lines get blurred when you are in a situation with someone who has what the outside world labels a “disability”.
It gets confusing. Conflicted between acceptance of a person in their entirety, and not knowing if their actions are due to the disability or them being less than honorable in their actions.
My inner bullshit detector has always led with “if it looks and walks like a duck…”. I’ve known this person for a very long time. To say they inadvertently force me to look at and work through my inner shit is an understatement.
To try to explain this to others at length is futile. And I don’t for various reasons.
The bottom line is I care for this person very much. But no matter what they say or have said, I look to their actions as the truth.
Misunderstandings occur. The way we view issues and attempt to resolve them are different. They’ve changed. I’ve changed.
And no matter what I do or say, it feels like I end up feeling stupid having tried at all.
Thank you for reading.