• I’m an idiot

    by  • March 29, 2014 • To You • 2 Comments

    To you.

    There has never been a time that I get drunk alone and you don’t pop into my head. It’s ridiculous. It’s fucking stupid.

    You are dating a girl better than me in every way. She is not only prettier, but also sweeter kinder, and more honest than myself. You have done well. You will be happy with a person like her, beautiful inside and out.

    I am dating someone too. He may not have the moral integrity of your lady, but then again, most people don’t. He is sweet to me. He cooks for me, makes me presents, and every day says not only does he love me, but that he is “in love” with me. After four years of dating, he’s proven he is a wonderful, devoted boyfriend.

    Since that brief second you and I were together, we’ve both had so many other, worthy people in our lives.

    I still want you. I want to know what it’s like to be with you. I want to fuck you and know what’s it’s like to have you inside of me. My greatest fear is that I will sabotage all my relationships because I just want to fuck you. Just one time.

    If she wasn’t so innocent, so wonderfully pure, I would let you know this. I would tell you that you could have me if you asked. She deserves a boyfriend who doesn’t cheat or lie. I honestly like your girlfriend a lot. You are much smarter than her, but then again, you’re smarter than me, too, so how can i judge?

    I don’t believe in a god. I don’t believe in fate. But despite all of that, you are the person always in the back of my mind, constantly causing me to question whether a “soulmate” could ever be possible.

    You are the only guy I have ever pursued. Since we were teenagers, we’ve always had horrible timing. I know you have a lovely, sweet woman in your life. I only ask one thing of you, J. If you have any doubts, if I might be the person you think about consistently in the back of your mind, please let me know.

    J, I made the last move in our relationship. I flat out told you I wanted another shot. You randomly showing up at the coffee shop with no explanation is not a move.

    I’m yours, if you ask. Should enough time go buy, love, I will assume that you feel she is the great love of your life. If that is the case, you’ve picked a deserving person.

    I am not.

    But I do love you, J.

    Since that math class. And your ridiculous pink shirt. I’ve honestly loved you since that moment.

    But then again, I’m a complete idiot, so what do I know?

    I truly hope you find peaceful, consistent, sweet love.


    2 Responses to I’m an idiot

    1. lolest!
      March 29, 2014 at 7:53 am

      I hope you never send this to him. Its desperate, manipulative and pathetic on your part, in my opinion. But I am sure you know it too.

    2. be aware of trolls.
      March 30, 2014 at 12:46 am

      Sounds like one of those fake letters…

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